Valentine’s Day can sometimes cause couples to feel a little down on themselves or self-conscious if things haven’t been hot and heavy in the bedroom as of late.
There’s often pressure associated with this particular holiday to automatically get really romantic with your partner, but the thing is, if the intimacy isn’t there, it’s going to feel forced and unnatural.
There are about a million reasons why the intimacy in your relationship might be lacking. With everything from work stress, busy parenting, and school life with the kids to trying to make time for critical self-care practices, sometimes our partnerships just end up at the bottom of the list.
Luckily, there are lots of different ways to help build up that intimacy again. And when you’re feeling close and connected to your partner, that’s when you can start to feel confident again from a sexual standpoint.
Let’s take a look at five tips all about intimacy when you want to reignite that flame on Valentine’s Day.
1. Bring Back Simple Hand-Holding and Moments of Close Contact
When was the last time you hugged your partner goodbye in the morning and held on for a little while? Or when the two of you ran errands together, like going grocery shopping or picking up some takeout for dinner, did you hold hands along the way? If not, those might be the moments that really matter in helping to rebuild that intimacy between you.
Medical News Today notes that research has found that touch can be a vital component in maintaining relationships with healthy communication. It establishes that close contact can really help one to feel more open and vulnerable with their partner if they’re feeling open to simple acts of affectionate touch.
So be sure to give your partner an extra squeeze here and there or even a nice back rub, if they consent.
2. Show Your Partner That You Appreciate Them
There’s that old adage that you catch more flies with honey, and you could apply that to how to communicate your love and appreciation toward your partner.
Even if it seems like a small gesture, something like thanking your partner for doing a nice job cleaning up the kitchen after dinner works to acknowledge them and their contributions and can help them to feel appreciated and seen. And when you feel respected and acknowledged, it can aid in those moments when you need to feel vulnerable and open with your partner.
3. Stay Connected With One Another During the Day
If you and your partner feel disconnected during the day due to work or parenting circumstances, it can be a great thing to increase that level of intimacy when you both make an effort to check in with one another.
Even if you stop to give your partner a quick phone call while on your break at work or send them a few text messages throughout the workday to tell them something funny that just happened, it can all help in making the two of you feel more connected.
When you feel more connected to your partner, even in those smaller ways, it can help you feel more in tune with one another and increase intimacy levels when it comes to establishing a healthy sexual relationship.
4. Have Emotionally Vulnerable Conversations
Most of us have experienced those difficult moments in our relationship when it feels really hard to open up and have those tough conversations that ultimately can work to bring us closer.
However tough those conversations might feel, though, when you open up from an emotionally vulnerable place, it often works to expose those inner feelings, especially when you use meaningful language. Emotionally vulnerable conversations also come from a true commitment to asking your partner for what it is you need from them and being present and truly listening to what it is they’re telling you as well.
When these emotionally vulnerable conversations take place, it can really help to form a true intimate bond where you feel safe and cared for by your partner. And when you feel like you’re cared for and have truly opened up with one another in an emotional way, those close feelings of intimacy start to build up again.
5. Engage in Something New and Fun Together
Another way you can work at trying to feel closer to your partner again is by mixing up your routine together and trying new things that you’re both interested in.
It can be anything, too, from taking watercolor classes to trying out salsa dancing to signing up for tennis lessons together. The goal here is to get both of you out of your comfort zones a little bit, but you’re doing so as a team and bonding on a whole new level.
Creating new and fun memories together can help form that connection again and make you feel closer to your partner and possibly ready to explore new things in the bedroom.