It's been just over a year since Vanessa Bryant's world was rocked by some of the most devastating news a wife and mother can ever receive.
Taking a helicopter to get around was common in the Bryant family as it grew. Kobe didn't want to miss a moment of any of his four children's lives. Sadly, it was a helicopter crash that took the lives of Kobe Byrant and 13-year-old Gianna Bryant last January.
There is no understating the pain Vanessa has been through since the moment she learned the news. That said, she has also made a concerted effort to be a dedicated and present mom to her other three children, 18-year-old Natalia, 4-year-old Bianka, and 1-year-old Capri.
Her strength is immeasurable, and now she's opening up about what this time has been like for her in an interview with People for its "Women Changing the World" issue.
Vanessa Bryant has proven incredibly strong in the face of devastation. But the 38-year-old doesn't pretend for a moment that it's always easy to move through her grief.
"I can't say that I'm strong every day," she told People magazine.
"I can't say that there aren't days when I feel like I can't survive to the next."
The entire world stopped at the news that Kobe Bryant, his 13-year-old daughter Gianna, and seven others had died in a helicopter crash in Calabasas, California. While the public mourned, Vanessa was faced with a broken heart and three girls depending on her. And then there were all the logistical issues — a number of projects the NBA legend had left unfinished and goals he hadn't reached.
Vanessa took over at Gravity Studios, Kobe's multimedia company she now sits at the helm of. She rebranded and relaunched the Mamba & Mambacita Sports Foundation, which will help empower young girls through sports and help provide equal opportunities to underserved athletes. It's a tall order, but it was a vision Kobe and Gianna were both committed to.
"This pain is unimaginable [but] you just have to get up and push forward," Vanessa said.
"Lying in bed crying isn't going to change the fact that my family will never be the same again. But getting out of bed and pushing forward is going to make the day better for my girls and for me. So that's what I do."
Instead of being broken by the memory of what she had, she's trying to make sure that Kobe's and Gianna's dreams are recognized as she helps Natalia, Bianka, and Capri make their own dreams come true. Vanessa focuses on "finding light in the darkness."
"I guess the best way to describe it is that Kobe and Gigi motivate me to keep going," Vanessa says.
Vanessa can feel their spirit through all the moves she's making.
"They inspire me to try harder and be better every day. Their love is unconditional and they motivate me in so many different ways."
It isn't all work, however. Vanessa has also made sure to spend a lot of time with her girls. She's taking in every moment with them as she watches them grow. It's a particularly exciting time for Natalia, now a high school senior.
The 18-year-old is dabbling in modeling as she weighs her college options. She's been admitted to New York University, University of Southern California, and University of Oregon. Vanessa wrote a heartfelt tribute to Natalia on her 18th birthday.
"Dear Natalia, Happy Birthday! Mommy and Daddy are so proud of the young lady that you are. You have displayed so much strength and grace throughout the most difficult year of our lives," she wrote.
"Thank you for stepping in to help me with your little sisters. You're such an incredible big sister and a beautiful role model to so many people," she continued.
"Thank you for being kind, polite and gracious in everything that you do. You have no idea how happy and proud mommy and daddy are that you’re our daughter. We love you always and forever, forever and always. Happy 18th birthday to our first born, Natalia, our principessa! Love always, Mommy, Daddy, Gigi, BB and Koko❤️."
Vanessa has found that the power of love has helped her get through. "My girls help me smile through the pain," she said.
"They give me strength. I want to make Kobe, Gigi, Natalia, Bianka and Capri proud."
