On the outside, Achea Redd has the perfect life: She’s the daughter of a pastor who grew up to marry NBA legend Michael Redd and raise two children. That’s why it took her until she was 30 years old to finally seek professional counseling for depression and anxiety. Now, she proclaims to LittleThings that through professional help and her faith, she has unlocked the keys to her kingdom.
“Prayer, therapy, and a prescription,” hails Achea. “I wanted to seek counseling sooner but was too scared of the unknown. Depression and anxiety can be very isolating in itself, but if your life looks perfect on the outside, you almost feel silly for having those depressive episodes. The last thing you want to do is ‘complain’ or come off as ungrateful. So the next best thing to do, we may think, is to hide and keep everything bottled up. That may work for the short term, but it will eventually seep out and impact other aspects of your life just as it did with me. Living fearless and authentic has always been a goal. For me, it was a now-or-never situation. I was facing a new mental health diagnosis and needed to explore life in a different way. I knew that if I didn’t, things would only get worse.”
Achea credits professional help with giving her the opportunity to put things into perspective and grow as an individual, coming into who she was meant to be: a mental health activist and author who empowers teens and adults to find their voice and let it out. Her mantra is, “Real girls FART.”
Her first books — Authentic You: A Girl's Guide to Growing Up Fearless and True and Be Free. Be You. — were inspired by her motherhood journey. “Middle school years are tough and seeing my son go through what he did during that time made me dig in and do some reflecting on my own life during that time,” shares Achea. “Authentic You was everything that I wanted someone to tell me when I was that age.”
In her forthcoming book, The Precipice of Mental Health: Becoming Your Own Safe Space (Forefront Books, May 3, 2022), Achea shares her personal battle with mental health struggles — including eating disorders, panic attacks, and suicidal ideation — to help readers understand that there is a path to help and healing for those who are suffering, struggling, and stressed.
On her platforms, she also digs into her challenges as a female of color.
“The pressure to rise to society’s standard of physical beauty has been very hard especially in the age of social media. Being a female of color has been challenging because of the code switching I have to do. I am a very passionate person, but as a black woman I have to be careful how I express my passion because it can be perceived as ‘angry.’ I can never just show up and be who I am without considering how I will be perceived. That’s where the switching comes in. As a black woman I have to be able to switch up at a moments’ notice.” — Achea Redd
As a mom, she needs to put herself first and set boundaries. “If I’m not good, then the house will go up in smoke, so it’s better to take the time to fill my cup,” says Achea. “When you are a mom, being proactive with your own self-care is better than being reactive. You will find that you mother better with self-care.”
To start on a journey to better self-care, Achea tells others to write out what self-care means to them and create a nonnegotiable plan to follow. “Schedule times on your calendar as a standing appointment so you have to intentionally show up for yourself,” Achea advises. “It can be a whole day or little bits each day, depending on the ages of your kids and family dynamic.”
Achea also encourages moms and women struggling with mental health issues to find a supportive community: “We aren’t alone, and I want others to find their voices and find others to connect with. I think we need to keep creating safe spaces to have the conversations. Community is very key to healing emotionally. The more we bring this topic to the forefront and into the light, the shame surrounding it disappears.”
Everyone has their own unique story and struggles, and Achea notes, “As a disclaimer, I have always said that what works for me may not be what works for the next person. However, I am a huge advocate for therapy, whether you have mental health issues or not. It’s always good to be able to talk through your ‘stuff,’ because no matter who you are, we all have stuff. Another universal tip would be movement and getting out in nature. Both are fantastic for clearing your mind.”
As Achea says, “Anxiety and depression are what I have. They are not who I am.” She wishes it hadn’t taken her so long to learn not to take life too seriously and to adjust expectations that she places on her relationships with others. But now that she’s queen of her own kingdom, she can shout out any inspiring story she wants, and a community of women who are moving off their own mental health islands and joining her in a whole new world are there to lift her up.
To be her neighbor, connect on Instagram.
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