It’s never easy being caught in the middle. One boyfriend found himself in a tricky situation. His girlfriend refused to help a neighbor in need and now their friendship has soured because of it. The worst part is he actually thinks his girlfriend was wrong here.
He was nice but honest with her, but she didn’t take it well. Now he is wondering if he was wrong to tell her the truth. This is where Reddit’s popular AITA forum comes in. Users were all too happy to weigh in.
His girlfriend is an introvert.
The boyfriend loves his girlfriend’s shy but self-assured personality. According to him Lotta, 26, “has always been on the more quiet and reserved side but also incredibly kind and conscientious of other people. She also doesn’t let others walk over her and knows how to set (and stick to) boundaries which is one of the reasons I was attracted to her.”
She might have gone too far this time though according to her boyfriend. “A few weeks ago, I think she was too ruthless,” he recalled.
Here's what happened.
The boyfriend proceeded to give the details of what occurred between the two women. “Our upstairs neighbour (who Lotta and I are close with) showed up at our door sobbing and begging Lotta to babysit her 5 year old for an hour because her one month old was having trouble breathing and has stopped breathing at one point and needed to go to the hospital ASAP,” he recalled. “The neighbour explained her mother was on the way as they speak but she has no one else to take care of her other son. She also offered to pay Lotta. I was at work at the time. Lotta said no. She said she was busy and couldn’t do it.” The boyfriend even updated his post to add that Lotta was not busy with work. She was just cooking dinner and watching her shows.
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The boyfriend sees the neighbor's point.
Ultimately, the neighbor was forced to take both children with her to the hospital. She has been acting cold to Lotta ever since. The boyfriend leans toward taking the neighbor’s side. When he tried to explain this to his girlfriend, it didn’t go well.
“I explained I felt differently and am more on our neighbour's side as 1) she has never asked us for any favours in the 3 years we've known her and 2) this was a medical emergency- not her wanting to go clubbing with her friends. I told Lotta that she didn't teach our neighbour a lesson,, she only added stress she didn't need,” he recalled.
The girlfriend needs help.
Lotta asked the boyfriend to help her reach out to the neighbor. He refused. He thinks she needs to do this on her own. Now she’s mad at him. He asked Reddit if he was in the wrong here.
What's a boyfriend to do?
The forum took the boyfriend’s side here. They cannot believe Lotta acted like she did.
“I'm not a 'kids' person,” one user wrote. “My husband and I are childfree, our home is definitely child-unsafe. But you bet your ass if one of our neighbours came up in a panic and asked if we could babysit their little one for an hour or two while they took their baby to hospital, I'd welcome the little munchkin in and find a way to corral them in the safest room with a bunch of toys and keep an eye on them.”
Was it a boundary?
One user pointed out a bigger societal issue that this case represents. “There’s a big trend these days of people using 'therapy speak' to excuse their [expletive] behaviour,” the commenter pointed out. “Lotta didn’t set a boundary. She prioritized leisure over lending an hour of her time during a medical emergency involving a baby, and she’s using the word 'boundary' to make it sound like she’s standing up for herself (against what, exactly?) and cover the fact that she was just being inconsiderate and selfish. And the fact she still has the nerve to try and call this neighbour her friend when her actions were in no way the actions of a friend is mind boggling.”
The boyfriend might want to rethink things.
Some on the site even wonder if the boyfriend should stay in this relationship. It seems like Lotta has some soul-searching to do.
"Honestly this would change my view of my partner significantly and I’m not sure I could recover from something like that viewpoint of them either," one user mused.
The boyfriend can rest easy that he did the right thing here, but may loose sleep over if he should stay with his girlfriend.
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