A week or two ago, a Denver couple had a great idea: What if they asked their Facebook friends to donate to a giant tip fund for one lucky server in their area? After being inspired by similar videos she had seen on TikTok (and especially those produced by LexyLately), Amber Bartlett decided to go for it.
Her first request was pretty cautious and casual, and she simply explained their motivation:
“Since [the virus] started Sloan & I have been tipping between 40-100%. Luckily, we have not been financially impacted, so this is how we’ve been using our money, especially at smaller places we visit a lot.”
She went on to say that she and her boyfriend, Sloan Anderson, wanted to try out the gifting trend on their own:
“The way it works is a lot of trust? Basically you have to trust that I would provide PROOF I did this, I would obviously video the money hand over so you can see where your money goes.”
Amber, a communications specialist at a Denver university, and Sloan, a freelancer designer, are heavily invested in their local community, and that’s a huge reason why they wanted to do something special to give back. The best part is that they didn’t even know just how amazing their gift would turn out to be.
Amber and Sloan set a goal of $250, and she encouraged her friends to donate anything, even just pennies.
"The idea is that you can transfer as much or as little, I'm talkin' cents… and once we get to a goal amount (I'd like to get into the hundo's… maybe $250?) I do the hand off."
While they were both nervous about handling other people's money, their friends were immediately super enthusiastic about the idea. One woman commented, "this is incredibly sweet. All of us service industry people are hurting badly. I love your heart."
The next day, Amber and Sloan woke up to awesome news: They had already exceeded their goal of $250. In fact, so far they had raised $394. If you've worked in the service industry, you know how amazing it would be to get such a giant tip. That's an amount of money that can have a huge impact on a lot of us.
The next day, they found out their friends had contributed even more. On August 11, only two days after they began their quest, everyone had collectively donated over $600. Amber started researching to figure out where the money should go and took the task really seriously.
One person noted that just about anywhere would be a great choice:
"I'd be willing to bet that in these times most anyone that's serving could use it. Not sure about there but here most restaurants are only using half the tables and people just aren't eating out as much. It's impossible to know what someone is going through at home. Trust that fate leads you to the right person."
With that in mind, Amber and Sloan set out to deliver their first tip on August 12. They consulted with their friends who had donated, and everyone decided that it would be great to split up the tip between two or three people. Since the amount now totaled to over $1,000, it was really easy to do so.
Amber also noted that she wanted the place they chose to "feel right," but that there was no way she could ask someone about the details of their private lives. In other words, "it's not for me to decide if they 'deserve it.'"
That's such a crucial point to make: If you decide to give your money to someone else, it's not up to you what they do (or don't do) with it.
She polled the donors and asked where they thought she should go, and people overwhelmingly chose IHOP:
"I got a LOT of feedback on IHOP LATE NIGHT being a great place to tip, I took a poll and 85% said yes and the pollers were, in fact, mostly donors, so I want to honor that. This is a chain, but what I realized after a lot of convos is that it's not about the restaurant, it's about the human and this is going to the human, not the business. So: IHOP! LATE NIGHT! will be one of the tips."
She added that she personally hoped the second tip could go to someone who works at a local business:
"This one I want to keep in the city limits and maybe lean into the local place a little more, yanno? I'm open to suggestions, but just don't get mad if in the end, I don't end up tipping it there."
Amber said that she felt great about the project until the amount went over $1,000, and then she started to get nervous:
"I am a known people pleaser, it's something I'm working on in therapy. I wanted to do right by my donors, but also I needed to be confident in my decisions. The first decision was when I started to think about who the tip should go to, I was constantly worried about my own unconscious biases and the places we were considering tipping. I got a lot of feedback when we hit $1k and that's when I knew I had to stop acting like I had any radar that would allow me to know if someone 'needed' the money. I had to trust the process, which I typically would lean into, but with this it was harder."
Amber and Sloan ended up going to a local diner on August 15 to deliver their first tip. After getting permission from the server, they were even able to film the entire thing. This made them nervous, but they felt like it was a necessary part of the process.
Amber said, "Upon filming, I was seriously worried about the backlash I'd get for filming the interaction. If I had my own way, I would have left the tip on the table fully anonymous and never filmed it. I prefer silent acts of kindness over theatrics, but I entered this [gift giving] role with the intention of being fully transparent about where this money goes and half the battle is donors trusting where the money is going."
In fact, she was so nervous about filming that they left soon after doing so:
"Our waitress was just starting her shift (10pm) and after this video was taken she found us leaving (I was so intimidated by this whole process so I wanted to leave quickly). She had tears in her eyes when she gave me a hug and thanked everybody again."
Amber and Sloan donated the second tip at Denver's Great Scott's Eatery. and are still raising money for a third tip (the current amount is over $700).
It's pretty easy to donate to the fund if you feel moved! Amber is taking donations on Venmo under @amber-bartlett and via Paypal.
