Boundaries are important for mental health. No matter how hard you might try to establish these, some people will not respect them. In-laws are notorious for this.
One daughter-in-law took to Reddit to see if she was wrong for telling a white lie to her mother-in-law ahead of a gender reveal party. It is important to note she only told a guess of what the biological sex of the baby was as a last resort to get the mother-in-law off her back after MIL kept hounding her. The pregnant woman told her MIL she did not know the sex, but the mother-in-law would not take no for an answer. She also swore MIL to secrecy. When the mother-in-law told everyone one gender and it ended up being the other, things got tense.
This mother-in-law was relentless.
Sometimes a person just says something to shut the other person up. This appears to be the case here. “I didn't really want a gender reveal party but my husband's family made a big deal about it so I agreed,” the daughter-in-law began her post on Reddit. “My mother-in-law was convinced that I knew the gender and insisted I tell her. I totally didn't and I told her that fact. She wore me down after a month of bothering me about it. She begged me and promised that she wouldn't tell anyone. This was all in texts. I told her it was a girl.”
The big reveal — in more ways than one.
This would have been great had it turned out to be true. “I figured it was a 50/50 chance and it would get her off my back,” she confessed. “Well she lied. When we cut the cake to reveal a blue inside there was a really awkward silence. She had told literally all of the guests from her side of the family so they could bring appropriate gifts.” Yikes.
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A subdued congratulations followed.
One side of the family was happy, while the other was very confused. “My friends and family quickly gathered around to congratulate us on our son,” she continued. “She came over and hissed at me that I made her look stupid. I reminded her that she had PROMISED not to tell anyone. She said she had never promised so I showed her our text conversation. Some of her family were right there when I did that so they heard her admit that she lied and had never intended to keep that promise.”
To apologize or not to apologize? That is the question.
It’s fair to say the mother-in-law was not pleased. “She said that it was a dick move and that I only did it to embarrass her. I again reminded her that [I] had told her on multiple occasions that I did not know the gender. My husband wants me to apologize to keep the peace. I probably will but I don't think I was an [expletive] like she seems to think,” the woman concluded.
The daughter-in-law did nothing wrong.
“[The mother-in-law] played a stupid game and won a stupid prize. High-five for that quick thinking and congrats on the baby!” wrote one user.
“She's a lying [expletive] that has proven she can't be trusted. She owes you an apology,” agreed another.
Do not apologize when you did nothing wrong.
Many on the site also believed that this woman should not apologize to her mother-in-law. “I'm sick of people being told they should apologise when they did nothing wrong in order to keep the peace,” wrote one user. “Being forced to appease bullies / people who break boundaries is harmful. Submerging yourself to please others is harmful. Not having the person who did wrong held to account is harmful.”
It's time to talk to her husband.
Other users believe that the original poster and her husband need to have a heart-to-heart. “You and your husband need to get on the same page about her behavior ASAP, because this is just the first of many times she's going to try and trample your boundaries regarding your child,” advised one user. “DO NOT APOLOGIZE. Do NOT set a precedent whereby she's entitled to do whatever she wants and you have to agree to ‘keep the peace.’”
What's next?
We can only speculate what this woman will do next. The best-case scenario is the mother-in-law sees the error of her ways and the family moves forward. But perhaps that is a pipe dream. At the very least this woman has the internet on her side.
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
