Whether or not a child is baptized is typically a decision left up to that child's parents. When the parents have different views on baptism, they have to find a way to agree or compromise.
One dad recently shared on Reddit that he decided to baptize his daughter because she's sick, even though her atheist mother is very opposed to baptism.
The man used to be a preacher.
"I used to be a preacher for a decade, then I met my (atheist) wife and left my church, because my marriage and relationship to her would not have been accepted well by my community," he began.
None of their children are baptized.
"Soon after that, we got married (not in any church) and had a baby girl, then a year later a baby boy and 3 years ago another little girl," the man explained. "We didn't baptize any of them, because though my wife was strongly against it as she views it an indoctrinarion, and evencthough I would have liked to baptize them, we decided not to."
He still goes to church.
"I still went to church every Sunday, my wife never went, and the kids went whenever they wanted to go (my oldest likes going, so she went more, my son only went a couple of times a year, and the little one just startes being interested)."
Their oldest is sick and he wanted to baptize her.
"Our oldest (8F) got severely ill a few months ago. We have been doing the treatments, and then I brought up to my wife that I would like to baptize her. I have faith that my daughter will get better, but I Ianted to baptize her anyway. My wife strongly disagreed.
"I said let's ask our daugther and she can decide. My wife said absolutely not, she is just a child and will maybe make the wrong decision. I told her that she's 8 and knows what baptism is about, so she can easily choose what she wants to do."
He did it anyway.
"Wife said no. I asked my daughter anyway, and she said she wants to do it. I took my daughter to church, where she was baptized. Later she told my wife, who flipped out and yelled at me, saying I have indoctrinated our child. I told her that I did what our daughter wanted to do, and that not letting her do it would be indoctrination into atheism, just as much as forcing her to do it would be indoctrination into a religion. Wife called me an AH, said I broke my vows to her and that I set up our daughter to believe in empty words (she meant scripture) now."
Commenters are split.
One person wrote, "Personally, I don't think getting baptized is a big deal. If you believe in God, it's a religious sacrament. If you don't, it's just a dude in a dress chucking water at you. I think [the original poster, OP] isn't the only AH here. His wife is also one. He shouldn't have baptized his daughter behind her mother's back and she should be more open to discussions about religion and raising their kids."
The decision definitely isn't cut-and-dried.
Another person wrote, "Thing is, though, while you can always decide to get baptized, you can never get unbaptized. Baptism is irreversible. So it is a very different thing to wait and decide later, vs. saying 'oh yeah let's do it now and you can change your mind,' because you can't.
"Yes, you can get excommunicated. Yes, you can formally leave the church. BUT YOU ARE STILL BAPTIZED.
"There was a long court case in Germany where the couple divorced and the husband went against the wife's wishes and baptized their kid, and the court was very harsh with him precisely because baptism is irreversible. His wife could get a court case decided against him but nothing she could do could reverse the baptism."
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