Everyone finds themselves going through difficult times at one point or another. Some people can let sadness run its course and find a way to move on. Others find that shaking sadness is like trying to fight your way out of quicksand.
In those times of sadness and depression, you can hope that the people around you care for you enough to help you through. One woman recently explained how she found herself on the receiving end of an outpouring of love from her friends.
Sheila O'Malley is a writer and film critic. She recently posted a Twitter thread, explaining how she had been mourning her father's death in the year after it happened. She moved to a new apartment for months, but she couldn't bring herself to unpack. She was struggling, living out of boxes for months, but she didn't know how to ask for help.
Sheila's high school friend was aware of her pain. After trying more traditional ways of reaching out, he realized Sheila needed help that she couldn't ask for. What he did next changed Sheila's perspective on asking for help and what it means to be a good friend.
Sheila begins by talking about how down she felt following her father's death.
She moved into a new apartment during the time she was grieving but found herself unable to unpack and settle in.
Luckily, Sheila's friend realized that she was struggling. He tried to support her in conventional ways, but he just couldn't get through to her.
Her friend, David, rounded up a few other friends and filled them in on the situation. Then he put a plan into action.
Sheila acknowledged that David took a risk, not knowing how she'd react to a situation like this one.
After confirming she was free and would be home, David and the rest of their friends went to Sheila's apartment with food and drinks, ready to help her settle into her new place.
She was initially embarrassed that her friends had to see her in such a state, but they quickly reassured her that they weren't judging her and were simply there to help.
She was in awe of how her friends came together. Without acting judgmental or as though they pitied her, they helped her do the thing she couldn't tackle alone.
While it was hard for Sheila not to micromanage people as they gave her a hand, she resisted the urge.
Her friends did everything. They even helped her put away over 1,500 books.
It wasn't all work for the group of friends. When they stopped to eat, it was as if it were any other get-together.
While it was overwhelming to process what her friends were doing for her, Sheila really appreciated the outpouring of support.
Sheila's story shows that friendship requires taking the extra step, even when you aren't sure it's what the other person wants.
The advice usually given to people who are struggling is to ask for help. Sheila feels that while well-intentioned, that advice is a bit misguided. When you're in the throes of a dark time, reaching out can feel like another impossible task. She urges people to be there for their friends in a real and meaningful way.
