Sororities and fraternities can often offer a great sense of community to those in college. However, many times their rituals can get out of hand. And that's seemingly what happened to 19-year-old Adam Oakes.
Adam was a freshman at Virginia Commonwealth University. He attended an off-campus party but was found dead the next morning. According to his parents, he was going to find out who his big brother in the fraternity was. But it ended in ways nobody expected.
The Richmond Police Department is currently investigating the incident, but many suspects are linked to the Delta Chi fraternity. The chapter of the fraternity has been suspended during this time.
Details about what happened that night are slowly emerging, but Adam's family members are hoping to figure it out. "We want some answers, you know. We deserve answers," his father said to Today. "Adam deserves answers." Mourning the loss of his son, he admits that there's been a hole in his heart since learning the news.
"We think it's part of the hazing process, and we think it went too far," said Adam's cousin, Courtney White. From what they know, Adam was told to drink a large bottle of Jack Daniel's whiskey. He was pressured to drink it within an hour, which poses a severe health risk.
"They checked in on him at midnight, he was breathing and OK and on his side, but then when they woke up, they found him face down on the couch," Courtney continued. "And then they rolled him over. Half his face was purple, half was not." Despite plenty of warnings that hazing can lead to death, sometimes the peer pressure in these situations becomes too much.
Neighbors who lived near the house where the party was taking place reported to the news about what they saw and heard that night. They pinpointed the address as being 138 W. Clay Street. One neighbor reported seeing a body being carried out of the home. According to ABC affiliate WRIC, that house has been designated as being a secondary residency for Delta Chi activities.
The college has been careful in responding to this incident. It is reportedly investigating its Greek life programs more seriously. "In light of Adam’s death and our commitment to a safe and healthy campus, this review will make recommendations about how Greek organizations meet the high expectations we have for them," stated Senior Vice Provost Charles Klink. "Simply put, this cannot happen again."
Courtney also believes that prior to his death, Adam was blindfolded. Based on the lack of vision and his level of intoxication, Courtney believes he walked into a tree before later passing out. "He wasn't just a good kid or good person to us, he was to everybody," Courtney told NBC12.
According to his family, Adam expressed a big interest in joining a fraternity. He had hoped for an organization where he felt like he belonged. "He had already tried to get into other fraternities and had been turned down, but he saw the comradery. He’d see the brotherhood and just loved the actual acceptance," his father, Eric, said.
"At 9 p.m., he texts his dad and just said, ‘I’m going in. Love you.’ and he went in," his cousin said. That was the last communication that his family had with him. "Adam had a huge, huge heart, which is what drew him to that fraternity," Courtney continued. "He wanted that sense of belonging."
The fraternity released a statement, but it seems to lack empathy. "The health and safety of our chapter communities is always a top priority for The Delta Chi Fraternity, which suspended the VCU chapter after learning of the incident late Saturday afternoon," it said, per NBC12.
One of Adam's closest friends started a GoFundMe page in Adam's honor. The money collected will help pay for funeral expenses and anything else the family needs to help process such a loss. He also shared nothing but kindness toward his friend, revealing even more about what Adam was like outside of the fraternity.
"Adam Oakes, he was the happiest, most joyful guy that everyone wanted to be around. His contentment was infectious," friend Max Turner wrote. "His laugh was one no one will ever forget and it's one I wish I could hear just one more time. Just one more big hug from him. Everyone loved those. The sports fan. His love for sports was something he shared with many and the conversations with him about it I will never forget."
"He will live on in the hearts of all who loved him so dearly," Max continued. "There will truly never be another like him. If you would like to donate towards funeral and other post mortal costs for Adam’s parents Linda and Eric, please do so it would mean so much to his friends and family. Thank you so much. We love you Adam! R.I.P."
Adam's death was preventable — as are most deaths that occur within fraternities and sororities. However, the atmosphere may have made him too intimidated to speak up for himself. That, or it's possible that he trusted the brothers not to put him in harm's way. And that's why conversations need to happen. We need to investigate what really happens in Greek life and also talk to pledges and tell them it's OK to walk away if they don't feel right.
Adam's life can never be replaced. One night destroyed everything for Adam and his family. These incidents need to stop, and the brothers who were responsible need to be held accountable. Just because a fraternity may have sponsored these events doesn't mean that individuals shouldn't be held accountable.
