Being on trial, even as a witness, is no laughing matter.
But I imagine that after a long day in court, the brain gets a little soft and, sometimes, even the brightest may say some silly things. But you won't believe some of the crazy stuff that came out of these folks' mouths, both attorney and witness alike!
Taken from a book called Disorder in the Court, the following conversations are real things, said by real people, recorded by real stenographers. If I had been there when these hilarious exchanges took place, I definitely would have been held in contempt of court!
But I'm sure a little humor can be a big relief during a trial. After hearing testimonies and cross-examinations all day, I bet those in the courtroom enjoyed a good chuckle. I know I would have!
Please SHARE if these silly conversations brought a smile to your face!
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
Please SHARE if you thought these testimonies were a hoot!
