Reddit Story About Woman Who Forgot She Stashed A Tampon In Her Bra Takes Internet By Storm

A Reddit user named "TwoXChromosomes" posted the following story, and it's going viral for a hilarious reason.

"I know the content here is generally more sober in tone, but, well, I need to tell this story.

This happened yesterday, the day of an excessively important meeting in which I needed to convince the executive team at my company that the website I manage should be the next one in line to get a redesign."

"Incidentally, the ol' uterus had done me the favor of double-booking my day with the initiation of its monthly lining-purge…"

"…and for the better part of the morning I found myself wincing as it crampily complained about how pregnant I wasn't."

"About an hour prior to the meeting, I felt a familiar but unpleasant sensation in my nether regions and suspected that I might have sprung a leak."

"I hastily excavated a tampon from my satchel and, lacking pockets, tucked it into my bra to prevent my coworkers from seeing it as I hustled to the bathroom."

"It turned out to be a phantom leak, so all business proceeded as usual, and the tampon in my bra remained unused.

Unfortunately, by the time I made my way back to my office, schmoozing with the occasional coworker on the way, I had entirely forgotten that it was there.

As the meeting time approached, I was feeling confident. I had done my research, assembled a glorious and stylish presentation with rock-solid data to support my argument, rehearsed my spiel, and psyched myself up with some assertive body language exercises. I had this.

Immovable decision-makers, meet unstoppable go-getter."

"I strutted into the meeting ready to win the day. Distributing habitually firm handshakes to the white-haired businessmen around the conference table with a jaunty joke here and there, I made my way to the front of the room and started hooking my laptop up to the projector."

"To my endless dismay, that was the moment my hidden tampon decided to make an appearance. It had slipped out of my bra, and I felt it graze my belly as it plummeted toward hem of my loose-fitting shirt.

If I had been thinking, I might have let it drop to the floor and kicked it under the table where it would have most likely gone unnoticed until the end of the meeting.

But no such luck.

Instead, I tried to catch it as it fell out of my shirt."

"And instead of catching it, I swatted it — an impeccable under-hand serve that sent my tampon soaring, with all the grace of a badminton birdie, directly into the center of the oak conference table, where it landed with a loud phlatt.

All eyes in the room descended upon it as the smalltalk came to a record-scratching halt.

Then all eyes turned upon me.

A years-long silence followed in which I prayed for a sudden aneurysm."

"Suddenly remembering how to move, I lunged across the table and snatched it up."

"In an uncharacteristic fit of charm, I grinned, raised the tampon up to the projection like a pointer, and said, 'Now that I have your undivided attention, let's get started.'

Fortunately, that was enough to make one of them chuckle. Despite the deep discomfort on some of their faces, the laugh broke the spell and allowed me to proceed with the presentation."

"And all-in-all, the presentation went well, and I was approved for my redesign. So it could have been far worse.

But that won't stop my scumbag brain from kicking me with that particular memory every time I'm trying to fall asleep for the next month or so."

"TL;DR Silenced a room full of my company's old male executives by flopping my tampon on the conference table.

Edit: The exec who laughed just popped into my office to ask what I'm planning to throw at them today.

I'm never going to live this down."

"Edit 2: Holy maxi pads, Batman, that flying sanitary product got me gilded!

I should make a gold cast of it and cherish it always as a desk ornament."