Husband Plans Once-In-A-Lifetime Vegas Trip With Friends 6 Weeks After His Child Is Born

When people hear "trip to Vegas with the guys," there's a good chance that they're replaying the plot of The Hangover in their head. But just because something takes place in Vegas doesn't mean it's filled with scandal. Sometimes, it's a great destination to celebrate life with your closest friends.

A mom went on Reddit to figure out if she was in the wrong after telling her husband he couldn't go on a Vegas trip. While her points make a lot of sense, it seems as if the issue may have been her delivery.

"One of my husband's closest friends got married in a courthouse ceremony last year," she started. "They debated postponing their entire ceremony, but decided to just do a courthouse wedding to save money. They threw a smallish reception like party in their backyard to celebrate with friends and family instead."

The change of plans led them to reallocate their wedding fund.

"Since they also both had to cancel their bachelor/bachelorette parties, they decided to use some of the money they saved from the wedding to go on trips with their friends," she said. "My husband's friend decided he wanted to go to Vegas. He sent out an email to everyone invited, detailing the trip. His friend would book and pay for an entire villa suite so the only thing the attendees would have to pay for would be airfare and spending cash."

It seems like a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. "When my husband told me about it he was so excited as he's never been to Vegas and this seemed like the perfect trip since his friend was covering a huge expense," the wife wrote. "However, we have 2 young kids at home, a 3-year old and a 6-week newborn."

His friend is hoping to get the final count soon.

"The trip is in 6 weeks and my husband's friend wants for sure answers on who is going by the end of this week so he can finalize reservations," she said. You can probably tell where this is going. With a newborn in the mix, plans can get pretty complicated.

"I told my husband I don't want him to go because I need his help at home," she wrote. "He pretty much begged me but I did not give in. I do not think I can handle the needs of both kids by myself. Neither of us has family nearby, and I'm pretty much estranged from all of my family anyway."

It's a situation that hurts, but she has a point — being alone with two young kids is very tough, especially if she happens to be breastfeeding as well.

He even offered to fly his mom in to help.

That's how badly he wants to go. "He offered to pay for her to come stay to help but I told him we can't afford it, which he should know," she said. After having a baby, costs go through the roof — especially when those hospital bills come in.

But it seemed like no matter what he suggested, she was quick to shut it down. "I was also upset that he thought we had the money to pay for this at all," she admitted. "We have 2 kids, we shouldn't be spending our money on gambling party trips. I pretty much put my foot down and told my husband he can't go and that there is nothing he can do to convince me that he should or that it's even an idea worth entertaining."

With all of the work-arounds he's suggested, things got tense.

"He's still been trying to convince me and come up with ideas that he thinks will make it work, no matter how many times I tell him to stop," she said. "I finally snapped at him and told him to drop it because he's not going and there's nothing he can do to convince me otherwise. I told him his priority needs to be his family right now, not going off with friends to blow money on drinks and gambling."

But not everyone loves ultimatums. "He called me a controlling jerk and that I'm depriving him of a once-in-a-lifetime trip," she said. "I told him if he went he would be missing out on once-in-a-lifetime moments with his kids and that's what he needs to focus on. I told him he just needs to drop and it tell his friend he can't go and be done with it."

Now the two of them are barely talking.

"He told me that he hopes I remember this when there's something that I really want to do, because he would never deprive me of an experience like this," she said. "He did finally tell his friend he can't go, but now he is barely talking to me, and pretty much only about things related to the kids. I can't even understand why he thought going would be a good idea."

Most people felt like she was being harsh. While her reasoning made a lot of sense, having to openly forbid someone to attend an event will only lead to a big grudge. And this really is something that likely won't happen again.

"I have a 3 year old and a 3 month old that I take care of all day alone while my husband is at work," said Common_Indication773. "And single parents take care of children by themselves all the time. People singlehandedly take care of more than one child all the time. It might be difficult but it can be done."

Taking care of kids single-handedly is tough, but not impossible.

Especially if this is just one trip. Plus, in a way, her stance makes her husband look like a child.

"The husband is an adult here," PotatoLover-3000 said. "His wife is not his mother or dictator. He should have autonomy in his marriage. She won't even discuss his compromises and shut off all communication."

A lot of Redditors feel like the problems are boiling down to more than just this trip. Not only will she refuse to listen to his compromises, but he's technically been blinded by the glitz and glamour of the free trip that he's forgotten that we're still in the midst of a pandemic — and he's got two kids at home who aren't eligible for the vaccine just yet.

"I think she's likely right that it's not a good time, but a compromise may have been found had they sat down talked about her childcare concerns and went over the finances together," Potato-Lover-3000 added. "Or after a calm discussion and seeing the financial issues, husband may have come around to her side."

This could have been handled so much better.

It seems like there's a lot of anger and resentment in this post. While the wife might be going through a hard time being postpartum, it's still important for the two of them to sit down and hear each other out. Obviously, this is something her husband wanted to do. And if they worked out a plan together, it's possible they could have both come out of this happy.

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