When it comes to taking care of their kids, parents have to make a lot of decisions. For most parents, at some point those decisions are about other people — specifically, people who might watch their children from time to time. Babysitters, nannies, grandparents, or friends — whomever parents choose, most of us have someone we can call.
One woman recently shared on Reddit that her husband is staunchly against babysitters. She explained why, but then added that his absolute refusal to hire sitters is causing a major issue in their lives right now.
She explains why he isn't comfortable with babysitters.
The mom began by explaining why her husband doesn't like sitters:
"I'm a sahm and my husband works full time. We have 3 kids and one of them is 2 years old. My husband helps alot with the kids. He's a committed dad but is absolutely against babysitters due to an awful incident with a babysitter that was the reason his younger male cousin James got disabled years ago. I don't go out much since I have to take the kids with me and not every place is suitable for kids."
The problem revolves around her brother's upcoming wedding.
"We received an invitation for my brother's (who has been my husband's friend since college) wedding which we later discovered was child free," she continued. "My brother lives states away so the entire trip will take 4 days as well as my brother's inlaws weekend dinner party (their tradition)."
She really wants to attend.
"I told my husband I want to go since it's been a while since I been to a wedding and this one is special and suggested we get a trusted friend as a babysitter," she said. "He asked if I was serious to consider leaving our 2 year old with a babysitter and suggested that I do what I normally do and stay home with the kids while he goes to the wedding."
She suggested he stay home instead.
"I refused and said I have as much right to attend as him since we both were invited. He said it wasn't his fault my brother wants a child free wedding and I should do this for the kids and sarifice for their sake. I still refused and said this was unfair and since he's a parent too then he should also stay for the kids."
His response was unfair.
"He looked at me and said 'That's my best friend's wedding you're asking me to skip for Christ's sake, are you kidding me?'. Then said I was being petty for suggesting this and that I was basically choosing to go and party over keeping our kids safe. He asked me to consider this a business trip what would I do? Go with him and leave the kids?"
He also said she is the one being selfish.
"I said I understand his paranoia of babysitters but really all my friends have sitters and at times they're really needed. He said I ought to know better than what my friends tell me and this wasn't even up for discussion and when I kept arguing he called me selfish and said he won't let me ruin his relationship with his friend because I was being spiteful for not being able to attend and that my brother'll understand my situation."
Some people think her husband sounds pretty awful.
One commenter wrote, "If you can't go to your brothers wedding, so can't he.
"Why doesn't he stay at home and you attend. Since this never came to his mind he thinks less of you and your needs. You are the servant for the children. Not his wife who is on the same level.
"This wedding shows you what kind of person your husband is and what he thinks of you."
People are also concerned about the relationship in general.
"This is your BROTHER'S wedding," said a commenter. "If my boyfriend implied that he should get to go to my sister's wedding instead of me, I'd flip! I think some reevaluation is needed of you and your husband's relationship. Ask yourself what a healthy relationship looks like and then compare notes. This is not it from what we've heard."
People are also confused that he thinks he's more important than his wife is to her own family.
A commenter noted, "Imagine how embarrassing it’ll be for him when he shows up for his brother in laws wedding and says the grooms sister had to stay home because he thinks he’s more important than her. Her family would be appalled."
Ultimately, things have gone too far.
"You should never have gotten to a point where you haven't been allowed to go anywhere for four years without your children in tow," explained a commenter. "Call your brother and explain the situation – I somehow doubt he'll agree with his 'best friend' about forcing you to stay home from his wedding, and someone in the real world being on your side may make it easier to see how utterly ridiculous your husband's demands are."
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
