It's understandable that blended families aren't always the easiest to navigate, but what do you do when the stepparent is the one causing the issues? One woman took to a parenting forum to complain about the fact that she and her husband now get his 5-year-old son every weekend. "I’m a stepmom in a blended family," she starts off the post.
"My husband has a 5-year-old son, 'Corey,' from his first marriage, and together we have a 5-year-old daughter and a 3-year-old son. We used to have Corey on Sunday afternoons, but his mom took a new job when he started kindergarten and pushed for custody changes."
"Parenting two kids all week is exhausting, and now we have Corey Friday through Sunday every week too," she continued. "Corey has a lot of trouble every time he switches over from his mom’s house to ours and tattles that his stepsister 'isn’t following the rules' — but it’s because his mom is a helicopter parent, while our house is about independence-building. He’s clingy and needs help with everything, and the weekend is miserable for everyone."
"Corey’s aunt takes him after school four days a week, but not on Fridays. This means we have to arrange once-a-week after-school care for him, which is expensive and inconvenient, and I usually end up having to be the one who leaves work early for pickup because that care ends at 4:45 p.m.," she said.
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"I’m exhausted by this and the full weekend of managing our two kids plus Corey that comes afterward, including driving him to activities, like soccer games, that his mom is happy to sign him up for and leave to us to deal with," the woman continued. "I need Corey’s aunt to take him on Fridays, at the very least, to make it fair, but she refuses because she blames me for her sister’s divorce."
"When I asked my husband to talk to his ex and her sister about making the child care arrangement fairer, he said he’d do it but then made excuses and never did. I know that the divorce was unfriendly, but it’s been nearly five years and I’m tired of dealing with this," the woman said. "Corey would benefit from more predictability with his aunt, I know. I also think if he wasn’t scheduled for weekend activities he’d become more independent. I can’t get any support for any of this! How do I get my calm weekends back?"
Woah, you can't make this up. And she even signed it "Overworked Stepmom." The columnist on the forum had a ton to respond to, however, she seemed to pull together a decent response.
"Dear Stepmom," she began. "I am trying, really trying, to be sympathetic. But it’s hard for me to cheer you on, particularly since that cheerleading would come at Corey’s expense. This is a 5-year-old whose father left him and his mother. For Corey’s entire life, his dad has had another family, including children he seems to be more devoted to; Corey 'gets to' spend limited time with his dad — one afternoon a week, for years! — and his dad’s second wife makes it very clear that having him around more than those few hours once a week is a burden. Why wouldn’t he act out?"
"When you married your husband, you became a stepmother, however reluctantly. Your having two kids with Corey’s dad doesn’t negate his — or your — responsibility for his other child. What did you think or hope would happen to Corey?" She continued to list off reasonings as to why the stepmom was out of order.
"If you can’t get it together to care for this child in the way he deserves — the way every child deserves — you’re not only harming Corey, but you’re showing your two biological children how to be unloving, withholding, and cruel," she concluded. "As to your calm weekends: You’ll get them back someday, but now is not that someday." What are your thoughts?
