After having a baby, extra help is usually much appreciated. But if conflict ensues, that help might not be wanted anymore. This happened to one woman whose in-laws were "a massive help" after she gave birth.
They helped her take care of household chores and the baby. But she ultimately decided she no longer wanted their help after she fell down the stairs and her in-laws just left her there. Granted, they were concerned about the baby (who did not fall but was crying at the time), but still, they did not even seem to notice the woman's injury, ignoring her cries for help.
Her in-laws ignored her for about 10 minutes.
On Reddit, the woman explained that when she fell down the stairs, she was not holding the baby and the baby was fine. The woman herself was slightly injured and shocked though. She couldn't stand up for 10 minutes and for that entire period of time, her in-laws did not try to help her get up. She said that eventually she was able to stand up on her own and "hobble through to the living room."
She was not happy about her in-laws' reaction (or lack thereof).
Upon seeing her, her mother-in-law asked her what had happened to her and if she was OK. She was not happy. "I fell down the stairs, didn't you hear me calling you for help?" she asked her in-laws. Her mother-in-law said she was focused on the baby and didn't notice. In the comments, one user asked if the baby was crying so loudly that the in-laws couldn't hear the OP, but the OP responded, saying, "No way. The baby stopped crying after 10 seconds and the stairs are like 2 meters from the living room. There is absolutely zero way they couldn't have heard me."
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The woman told her partner she didn't want her in-laws' help anymore.
Because of swelling from the fall, the woman went to the hospital (she was OK). But she told her partner that she no longer wanted help from his parents. He pointed out that they had done a lot to help her, especially because her parents live in another country and won't be able to visit until winter. "I said I appreciated it all but they ignored me crying and calling them for 10 minutes after I fell down the stairs. They don't care about me, only the baby and I was embarrassed I didn't see it sooner," she wrote in her post.
The in-laws complained that they missed the baby.
The woman's MIL has called multiple times to ask if she needs help, also adding that she feels bad about not helping. She also wants to see the baby. The woman asked Reddit users if she was in the wrong for not wanting help from her in-laws anymore. Many Reddit users sympathized with the woman and said they would not want help from her in-laws either.
One user pointed out that they only missed the baby.
"'That she misses the baby,'" one user wrote, referring to the original post. "That's all she misses. Not the baby's 'incubator.' Sorry you found out this way."
Others pointed out that although they were rightfully concerned about the baby, it didn't make sense not to check on the baby's mom afterward.
For many, it seemed natural to look for mom, too.
One user commented: "If I'm at someone's house, and their baby cries, I wonder, 'Why isn't mom/dad taking care of this baby?' After I've checked to make sure the baby is okay, I go to check out why the parent didn't come. Where are you? Are you ignoring your baby? Do you need help? Were you in the bathroom? Did you fall down the stairs?" The user added that from any angle, something seems off about the way the in-laws handled the situation.
It makes sense to look for the source of a loud sound, according to Reddit users.
Another user wondered the same, adding that the in-laws should've wanted to find the reason the baby was crying, which was likely the loud noise. They should've wanted to know where the noise came from, too, according to the same user: "If someone shouts in this house, people come to check. Even if it's just barely heard. Especially after sounds of things falling and breaking. Something could have affected how loud they could yell, and they needed help."
The OP also could've been seriously injured.
Many pointed out that the in-laws didn't know where the woman was or if she was OK, but they didn't even bother to check. Some even suggested that if they couldn't look after her or notice when she fell, they wouldn't trust the in-laws to look after the baby either (or to be truly helpful to the OP, for that matter). "If you can’t trust someone to help you when you need them why have them there?" one user wrote.
But some questioned the OP's communication skills.
One user suggested that maybe the OP was dealing with "after-pregnancy sadness" and feeling sad about how much attention the baby was getting compared to her. "I remember what it was like to have everyone fussing over you for 9 long months, and then suddenly everyone is paying attention to…not you…," the person wrote. "Not that you don't love that everyone loves your son as much as you do, but while you were pregnant you got the attention and fuss and now, you're just the mom. I'd say heal up and give them another chance."
Another questioned the OP's communication skills and told her to just talk to the in-laws: "Really? you go from 'they’ve been a massive help' to cutting them off over a misunderstanding? this type of behavior doesn’t help people understand each other."
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