Blending families can be tough, but the expectation is that both adults involved are committed to parenting all the kids that they are blending … or so you would think.
One woman has recently shared on Reddit that she's had it up to here with her stepdaughter and wants her to move in with her mom. The most recent incident involved her younger daughter.
She says the girl doesn't like sharing her dad.
The woman writes: "My husband and I have a 14 years old daughter together(let's call her Maisie). He also has a 17 years old daughter with his ex(let's call her Danielle)."
She goes on to explain the situation. "For some reason Danielle hates Maisie. It's like she hates sharing her dad with anyone. She never accepted me or Maisie in her life even though I've been in her life since she was 1."
Her stepdaughter recently got a car.
"My husband bought a car for Danielle when she turned 16. We asked her if she could take Maisie to school with her because their schools are close but she refused to do so. That's not a problem. The problem happened yesterday."
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Her stepdaughter didn't help out her younger sister.
"Maisie walks to school everyday. Yesterday she sprained her ankle in her way back home. She saw Danielle driving by and waved for her to stop. Danielle stopped and asked her if she is hurt. She said yes. Danielle said ok and left. SHE LEFT."
Maisie had to walk back home like that.
The woman is upset and wants her stepdaughter out.
"I was seeing red when I heard what happened. To be honest I can't tolerate her behavior anymore so I asked my husband to just send her to live with her mom for a while. This is not the first time that she did something like that and I'm so tired of her."
People are aghast at the stepmom's reaction.
The first commenter hits the nail on the head. They write:
"This is when you PARENT.
- Take away the car keys for a month
- Apologize to sister
- Volunteer at a hospital to see what it is like to help those who are sick/in need
- Dad should sit down privately with Danielle and talk to her and ask why she would do that
- Must speak to a therapist
"I am sure she feels like Maisie 'replaced' her. Has she had therapy? Sounds like she could use some to work through her feelings. Good luck."
But others blame the dad.
Another commenter disagrees. They write:
"The dad is the AH for not stepping in and disciplining his own daughter. It's not OPs responsibility to discipline her step-daughter because if she did, it will cause even more problems and likely make her act out even more. OP may not even feel like it's her place to do so, especially since it's apparent the dad is already not backing her.
"Plus, like you said, at no point in the post did she come across as saying her daughter did no wrong. She didn't even make a scene when the stepdaughter refused to take her daughter to school, so why would they think she's treating her daughter with special privileges? Idk how the majority came to the conclusion that OP is the AH, really blows my mind."
Ultimately, everyone is kind of in the wrong here.
Another commenter concluded: "It’s never a good option to try and keep a kid away from one of their parents. With that said, I do sympathize with you. There are a lot of people on this thread who have never been a step parent and assume you have all of this freedom to parent Danielle. That freedom comes from her actual parents allowing it, and having to live with a child that you have no rights to guide or discipline can lead to resentment. being a stepparent isn’t for the faint of heart.
"The real issue here is with your husband. It sounds like you haven’t been given the right to parent Danielle, and he needs to step up and take charge of his daughter. Maisie is also his daughter and it doesn’t sound like he’s protecting her."
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