A lot of us were introduced to Amanda Kloots in early 2020 when her husband, actor Nick Cordero, was diagnosed with COVID-19. At the time, the diagnosis didn't seem like it would necessarily be that difficult; Nick was young, healthy, and was a dad to a newborn baby boy named Elvis.
Nick passed away in July 2020 after a tumultuous journey with the disease — a journey that Amanda invited us on through Instagram, where she posted daily updates about Nick's condition. Since his death, Amanda has navigated the murky waters of unexpected single motherhood and grief.
These days, she's a TV personality and a fitness instructor who is also a mom of a preschooler who is just beginning to process his own grief about the loss of his father. Amanda recently spoke to LittleThings about her son, her grief journey, and why a partnership with Swanson W/I/O is helping her so much when it comes to self-care.
Grief is, at its best, absolutely tricky. There's really no right or wrong way to grieve; the journey is as individual as each person who takes it. But there's one thing that a lot of people seem to agree one: Grief never leaves you, it just becomes a new character in your life. If there's anyone who understands that, it's Amanda.
As Amanda explains, she's had a few years to process her own grief following the death of her husband. Unfortunately, their now 3-year-old son Elvis is just beginning to understand the magnitude of his own loss.
Amanda says, "[Elvis' grief] is certainly something I'm dealing with now. Obviously, there's no rule book for it, and I'm learning as I go. Elvis is starting to learn and to ask questions, and I'm learning how to respond."
She adds, "Every family is different and every child is different. I can't say that what I'm doing is the right way — that doesn't make any difference [for another family]. I've just been very honest and very clear. I understand that he's 3, there's only so much that he can understand and absorb. In the future, there'll be more details and more intricate questions, and we'll have even deeper chats. For right now, I think in what I've done for us, for our family, is to be very clear about where Dad is and what happened to Dad."
In that vein, Amanda is joining a wave of parents who are emphasizing age-appropriate honesty with their children. Her ideas are similar to those of author Rebecca Woolf, whose 2022 memoir (All Of This: A Memoir of Death and Desire) about widowhood and loss within a broken marriage emphasizes the honesty with which she's approached her children's questions about their father.
Experts agree that not only is age-appropriate honesty good for children, it's something they crave from their parents and caregivers. The Institute of Childhood Preparedness has written extensively on the topic, and notes that honesty builds a foundation of trust between a parent and child, and that trust "is vital for any relationship, but especially for those with children. Lying to a child can decrease your credibility as an authority figure, whereas being consistently open and honest gives the child no reason to doubt you."
Of course, it can be difficult for any of us to focus on being the best parent we want to be if we aren't taking care of ourselves first. Whether we are dealing with work stress, relationship problems, or walking the path of grief, we have to make self-care a priority so that we have the mental, emotional, and even physical fortitude to tackle each and every day.
When Amanda was approached by Swanson Wellness Inside and Out (Swanson W/I/O) to promote its newest line of curated wellness and self-care nutraceuticals, she felt the partnership was a natural fit. Amanda's focus is on three major areas that matter to all of us: stress, sleep, and cognition.
Amanda explains, "Self-care and mental wellness is so important to me … the partnership just made sense. I love their tagline 'self-care isn't self-centered,' which I think is a beautiful message to put out into the world. A lot of times when we hear people are taking time for themselves or doing special things for themselves, it can seem self-centered. It's not because we all really do need to focus on our own mental wellness."
Amanda adds that the Swanson W/I/O line is inclusive and that there is "really something for everyone, regardless of what your need is."
And as she puts it, that's similar to what self-care is like for all of us in real life. Amanda says, "Every day is different, every week is different, every person is different. We all need help in different areas."
