Sometimes, there is a divide between a childfree woman and a mother. The mom forgets what life was like before kids and runs the risk of becoming entitled. The childfree mom does not fully understand the pressures of motherhood. This appears to be the case for one family and it all came to a head on vacation.
A childfree aunt refused to babysit when asked at the last minute. This angered her sister-in-law who did not understand why she should not step up. This aunt took to Reddit to see if she was in the wrong.
The vacation came after plenty of planning.
As counterintuitive as it can seem, sometimes vacations are stressful. This one started out pretty relaxing. “I’m on vacation with my immediate family,” began the aunt. “I’m F/30 and my two brothers are in their late 30s. They’re both married and they each have kids (5 kids total ranging in age from 3-9 years old). My parents are also on the trip, and I am accompanied by my boyfriend of 2 years. We’re here for a week and it’s been really fun so far. We have a mix of days where we have activities planned and then a few free days. My family has had a text thread going for months with all of the trip planning, so we knew which days were activity vs free days.”
Things took a turn.
Things were going smoothly until one of the free nights. “My boyfriend and I planned a romantic dinner for one of the free nights at a really nice restaurant on the island,” the aunt continues. “We made a reservation months ago because it books up. I was getting ready to go out and one of my sister in laws made a comment about me dressing up to stay in. I was confused and asked her to clarify. She said that she, my brother, and my other married brother and his wife, were doing a couples spa evening experience that they booked a few days earlier and they needed me and my BF to watch all of their kids. She said my brother was supposed to have asked me earlier that day. He forgot to.”
More from LittleThings: Babysitter Calls Police After Parents Of The Kids Change Their Plans Without Telling Him
The sister-in-law did not understand.
This aunt and her boyfriend were not available to babysit, but the sister-in-law would not let it go. “When I explained that my boyfriend and I already had plans, she was super unsympathetic,” the aunt explains. “She said they already prepaid for the spa experience and since we hadn’t paid for the dinner yet, it wouldn’t make sense for them to have to cancel their plans. I never agreed to watch their kids. I love my nieces and nephews, but my family knows I am childfree and have been for years. It’s been a point of contention for a long time. I wouldn’t mind watching them if I had been given advanced notice, but to have them slapped on me when I had plans with my BF made me really upset.”
Grandparents save the day.
The grandparents had to step in. “My sister in law said I didn’t understand how much she needed the time away from her kids because I don’t have kids of my own,” the aunt continues. “She said I was being selfish and I could handle one night of 'being a mom'. It’s not the point. I would’ve agreed if she had asked me months ago before my BF and I made dinner plans. I checked and we wouldn’t be able to get another reservation before we leave. My parents walked in on us arguing, and eventually they offered to watch the kids. They were supposed to go to a free concert on the beach together but decided to cancel so someone could stay with the kids. I felt really bad but my mom insisted.”
The mood is still apprehensive.
The couples got their spa night and the aunt got her romantic dinner, but tensions were still high. “Now it’s the next day and my sister in law won’t even look at me. I’m pissed at her too but we’re stuck here for a week so I don’t know what to do. My mom thinks I should apologize but I feel I’m the one owed the apology here,” the aunt concludes wondering if she was in the wrong here.
The aunt isn't wrong.
The Reddit AITA forum was on the childfree aunt’s side.
“I find that most parents of young children expect the world to revolve them,” commented one user. "It's obnoxious."
Many other users agreed.
Another Redditor chimed in: “Those are their kids and therefore their responsibility. Before they booked their spa experience they should have ASKED YOU.”
What about the husband?
Some on the forum pointed that that the sister-in-law might be projecting her anger unfairly onto the aunt.
“She’s mad at her husband but doesn’t want to ruin their trip so she’s blaming OP lol,” wrote one user.
“It’s easier to be mad at you than at her husband,” chimed in another.
Sorry, not sorry.
The forum urged the aunt not to apologize. They think her mom is wrong for asking her to but understand she is trying to keep the peace for the sake of the rest of the vacation and access to grandbabies. The aunt commented that she plans to talk to her brother privately about the situation. Hopefully this family can work it out.
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