Grief is not a linear process. You can be doing great, but then it sneaks up on you without warning. Billie Lourd, daughter of the late Carrie Fisher knows this all too well. Carrie, best known for her portrayal of Princess Leia in the Star Wars universe, died on December 27, 2016, at age 60.
Billie took to Instagram to mark the seventh anniversary of her mother’s death. It is clear the pair loved each other to the moon and back. Billie thinks of Carrie daily.
Billie shared a photo of her and her mom playing in the sand. It looks like it was a perfect mother-daughter day. “It has been 7 years since my mom died (but who’s counting?? Me I guess?),” she began her tribute.
Billie seems to have inherited Carrie’s way with words. She perfectly explains the many stages of grief through the years. “Every anniversary brings a different iteration of my grief,” she continued. “Some infuse me with rage, some make me cry all day long, some make me feel dissociated and empty, some make me feel nothing, some make me feel guilty for feeling nothing, and some make me feel all of those things all at once.”
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Grief also gives one a new perspective on life which Billie is embracing. "This year when I woke up I felt grateful — or griefull, if you will,” she explained. “Grief has infused my life with a sense of appreciation I had never had before. It makes me soak up every moment of joy as if it were my last."
Billie married Austen Rydell in 2022. The couple share two children, son Kingston, 3, and daughter Jackson Joanne, 12 months. Carrie never got to meet her daughter’s husband or her grandchildren.
Billie feels Carrie’s presence even though she is no longer physically with us. "Today I was holding my daughter while she was napping in my arms and my eyes welled up with tears of joy,” she continued. “I laughed at myself then cried more cause I was laughing. I felt my momby's presence like the warmth of the sun on your skin on a hot summer day. The kind of warmth where you unknowingly close your eyes and take a slow breath through your nose and grin."
Billie also talks about her mom with her children. "I miss her every day but the cliche is also true – she is with me every day – she infuses my joyful moments with even more joy. As I tell my son, she lives in the stars – and she damn sure makes my life sparkle. Sending my love to all my griefers out there. And hoping everyone can feel a little sparkle of griefull among all the feelings grief inevitably brings,” Billie concluded.
Billie’s grandma and Carrie’s mother, Debbie Reynolds, died just one day after her daughter on December 28, 2023. On Debbie’s birthday, Billie posted a throwback photo of her grandma as a young movie star. This time she expressed her grief with emojis.
In May 2023, Carrie received a posthumous star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Billie accepted the award on her mother’s behalf. “Mama, you’ve made it,” Billie gushed at the big event. “My mom died six and a half years ago, and ever since, I’ve fallen deeply in love with Leia and the entire Star Wars universe. I buy every single piece of Leia merch I Leia my eyes on.”
