Ah, Black Friday, a time to line up outside of your favorite store for hours in the post-Thanksgiving dawn, rushing inside as the doors swing open to grab all of the best deals and purchases you can find…right?
Wrong. While it may seem like a grand old time with plenty of amazing sales to be had, there are plenty of reasons that you should just kick your feet up, relax and STAY HOME this year.
You are in no way obligated to go chasing down "great deals" at ungodly, freezing cold hours right after you've had a delicious turkey feast and expended all of your energy not only eating and cooking and cleaning, but rooting for your favorite football team with all of the vigor you can muster.
"Having a list, knowing exactly who you're shopping for and what your budget is for each of those people is really important," Lisa Cavanaugh, a consumer psychologist at the University of Southern California who researches holiday shopping, told Live Science. "It's really easy to get swept up in the craziness that is after-Thanksgiving shopping."
Of course, you can still go Black Friday shopping if you truly wish, but first, hear me out…
Please SHARE these reasons to stay home on Black Friday this year with all of your friends!
1. Because you have to wake up at 4 AM - or earlier - to even get to the sales.
2. A sweater is not worth this much claustrophobia.
3. Chance of being pushed and shoved by total strangers? 100%.
4. Seriously, people get injured and even DIE in these mobs!
5. In all of the excitement and mindless madness, you'll start buying anything and everything. This will NOT save you money.
6. Marketers and advertisers know that it is instinctual for you to horde and get excited and weirdly competitive over useless junk in heated moments like this.
7. It's what kept our ancestors alive, but trust us, you have plenty of useless stuff already. DON'T LET THE RETAILERS WIN.
8. On any other day, even if everything was "on sale" (it always is) you would NOT be this excited to enter an Old Navy and so eager to frighten the poor sales associates.
9. This here is not fun. This is not camping. This is pretending to be homeless for no good reason. You do not need that flatscreen TV at 15% off THAT BAD.
10. Besides, no matter what your heart desires, you can order it all online now anyway for Black Friday AND Cyber Monday.
11. And there's people at home who you'd much rather be spending your time with anyway (and guarding the leftovers from).
12. Last but not least, the concept of Black Friday is RIDICULOUS.
Please SHARE these good reasons not to go shopping on Black Friday with everyone you know!
