Even the best-laid plans can go sideways, and this is especially true for wedding plans. As one bride on Reddit is finding out, sometimes even curveballs will throw you a curveball — and she's trying to figure out how to handle them.
She writes, "I (27F) was raised by my maternal grandparents. My parents (M46, F56) are 'free spirits' that didn't want to settle down and raise a child.
"Whatever. I saw them every few months when they would come by. Eventually they stopped coming. I didn't miss them. My grandmother and grandfather were my parents."
She invited her parents to her wedding because her grandfather asked her to.
"I am getting married in March and my invitations have all gone out," the original poster (OP) says. "I invited my parents as guests. They are not part of the wedding or anything like that. I wasn't going to invite them but my grandfather asked me to please let my biomom be a part of my day."
Her dad asked if their throuple partner could attend, too.
"About a week ago I spoke with my biodad. He wants a plus one on their invitation. I have not seen him in years so I thought maybe they had another kid and hadn't mentioned it," she explains.
"Nope. Apparently him and my mother have a man in his 30s that is a part of their relationship."
She isn't into the idea.
"While neither myself or my fiance are particularly religious, and I have no objections to polygamous relationships in general, I would prefer not to have to deal with that at my wedding.
"I told him that he and my mother were invited as a courtesy and that they had no parental privileges for me to consider. He said that excluding their partner was mean and that he wouldn't have left me with my grandparents if he knew they were going to raise me to be prejudiced."
She's told her parents that it's a hard no.
"I have spoken with my grandparents about this. Both sets. Nobody knew anything about this. So it seems that they were going to use my wedding to introduce this guy to the families.
"I called him back and was very firm. I told him that I have spoken with my wedding coordinator and made sure that no uninvited guests come to my wedding."
Her parents are pretty angry.
"Since we are having the reception at a resort hotel in my city they have security. I also spoke with the manager and explained that I might have uninvited guests trying to get into my wedding reception. He said that security would escort anyone like that off the property and call the cops if needed," OP continues.
"All of this was relayed to my parents. Now they are complaining to everyone. I am dealing with it by telling everyone who calls me to fight for them exactly why I am excluding the person they want to bring.
"I just talked to my mother and she screamed at me for telling people her private business."
Some commenters are on her side.
One person writes, "This doesn’t sound like it’s about a prejudice about polyamory so much as it’s about not wanting some random stranger at your wedding. And not owing your parents anything, they’re lucky they’re getting an invite at all."
It's possible her parents wanted to upstage her.
A second person writes, "So they were planning to overshadow your wedding by using that as an opportunity to introduce their throuple partner and their new lifestyle to everyone. Now your bio is upset that you are 'telling her private business' – – before she get the opportunity to do it at your wedding?! NTA. I’m so glad you had grandparents to step up and be parents, OP. Congratulations to your partner and best wishes to the bride."
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