It's one of the first lessons we learn as children, and it's one that we try to teach our young ones early on: bodies come in all shapes, sizes, and colors — and that's totally normal!
But it's also at an early age that children start to understand that some words describing bodies can be used to hurt others. Since having her two children, a mom named Allison Kimmey has made an effort to remind her children that they shouldn't be making fun of others because of what they look like.
So, when her daughter got mad at her and called her fat behind her back, Allison knew that she had to teach the little one an important lesson. After her own journey of self-acceptance and body positivity, she wanted the little girl to understand the importance of both.
Scroll down to read the mom's post about the experience and what she had to say about bodies!
My daughter called me fat today.
She was upset I made them get out of the pool and she told her brother that mama is fat.
I told her to meet me upstairs so we could chat.
Me: “What did you say about me?”
Her: “I said you were fat, mama, I’m sorry.”
Me: “Let’s talk about it. The truth is, I am not fat. No one IS fat. It’s not something you can BE. But I do HAVE fat. We ALL have fat. It protects our muscles and our bones and keeps our bodies going by providing us energy. Do you have fat?”
Her: “Yes! I have some here on my tummy.”
Me: “That’s right! So do I and so does your brother!”
Her brother: “I don’t have any fat, I’m the skinniest, I just have muscles”
Me: “Actually, everyone, every single person in the world has fat. But each of us has different amounts.”
Her brother: “Oh right! I have some to protect my big muscles! But you have more than me.”
Me: “Yes, that’s true. Some people have a lot, and others don’t have very much. But that doesn’t mean that one person is better than the other, do you both understand?
Both: “Yes, mama.”
Me: “So can you repeat what I said?”
Them: “Yes! I shouldn’t say someone is fat because you can’t be just fat, but everyone HAS fat and it’s okay to have different fat.”
Me: “Exactly right!”
Them: “Can we go back to the pool now?”
Me: No.
Each moment these topics come up, I have to choose how I’m going to handle them.
Fat is not a bad word in our house. If I shame my children for saying it, then I am proving that it is an insulting word and I continue the stigma that being fat is unworthy, gross, comical, and undesirable.
Since we don’t call people fat as an insult in my household, I have to assume she internalized this idea from somewhere or someone else.
Our children are fed ideas from every angle. You have to understand that that WILL happen: at a friend’s house whose parents have different values, watching a TV show or movie, overhearing someone at school — ideas about body image are already filtering through their minds. It is our job to continue to be the loudest, most accepting, positive and CONSISTENT voice they hear so that it can rise above the rest.
Please SHARE if you want others to hear this mom’s important message!
