Back to school, back to the stress of managing various schedules and getting out the door in time. But it is possible to have a calmer, healthier, and happier September this year, according to Laura Linn Knight, a former elementary school teacher, certified positive discipline educator, and family meditation teacher.
“Going back to school can be stressful,” Knight tells LittleThings. “Mornings often feel particularly hard. Getting your child fed, brushed — teeth and hair! — dressed, and out the door in a timely manner can leave you feeling frustrated and overwhelmed by 8 a.m.”
The secret is to start preparing the evening before. Knight shares, “Prepare the night before as much as possible. Find that missing shoe that is hiding under the couch and put shoes in a designated spot. Pack lunches and keep them in the fridge, lay out clothes ahead of time, and get a good night's sleep.”
Next, plan a wake-up time to maximize your morning. “Each child’s wake-up time will be personal to how long they take to get ready in the morning,” notes Knight. “For example, one of my children needs 45 minutes to get ready each morning, while the other only takes about 30 minutes. However long your child takes to get ready, be sure to build in some extra time for cuddles and morning mishaps.”
The same morning routine can be used to motivate your teenager. Knight recommends, “Ask them to help plan out what their morning will look like, and make sure they have an alarm clock to set. Be consistent with sleep and let the routines you put in place be a guide for your teen to follow. Remember that you are teaching time management and organizational skills through this process. Patience and consistency are key.”
Once everyone is up and out of bed, start your day off with a morning routine. “A morning routine offers so many wonderful opportunities for families,” she says. “Morning routines will help your child learn time management skills, cooperation, and how to follow through with a plan. As a family, you will experience smoother transitions out the door, less nagging, and starting the day with a more peaceful home environment. The best part about creating a morning routine is that it can be simple and fun.”
As an educator with in-the-trenches experience as a mom of two, Knight says, “The best way to establish a morning routine is to create the routine together with your child. It is important that you do not skip this very important step.”
This can be particularly helpful for parents with children starting preschool or kindergarten for the first time.
Knight explains, “When a routine is created without a child, the routine becomes more authoritarian, and power struggles often arise. Instead, I suggest finding a quiet moment to sit down with your child and ask, ‘How do we get ready in the morning?’ Most children respond by listing a few things they do each morning: get dressed, eat breakfast, and brush teeth. For all children — especially young ones — you can help guide the list by adding things that may have been missed. In this example, brushing hair and putting on shoes can be added.”
Checklists might be helpful ways to align all family members with the ultimate goal of beating the clock and forming a morning routine, says Knight. They even work for kids. “Many children love to check boxes and highlight to-do lists. If that is your child, make your morning routine chart into a checklist that you can either print from the computer or photocopy. Get out paper, markers, stickers, and tape. Be creative while you help your child make their very own morning routine poster to be hung up in the house.”
She recalls, “When my children were little and couldn’t yet write, I took pictures of them doing each activity on their list, and we glued them on poster board so that they could visually see each step of the morning routine. This is a great first step in helping younger-aged children see how they can get ready in the morning and learn this important process that will serve them for years to come.”
If your child is dreading school, Knight recommends pretend play to help ease their anxiety. “Set aside time each day to practice going back to school with dolls, toys, and stuffed animals. Once school starts, you can continue this type of play. Let your child take the lead, and notice how they share their worries during their pretend play. As their fears come up, you can offer tools and support. Just be sure you do it in your best stuffed animal voice and keep it fun.”
She also reveals, “Tools that you can offer to support your anxious child during pretend play can be mindfulness-based, such as tracing their hand with their finger as they take deep breaths, or sharing your own personal experience of fear and how you worked through that as a child or an adult.”
Now that you have the steps to start school mornings off right, be mindful of the six things that may throw your morning off track and be sure to incorporate them into your poster or checklist, according to Knight:
- Do keep your poster easy to follow.
- Do make things as clear as possible for the routine to be accomplished (this can be picking out clothes the night before, putting shoes by the front door, and having a hair brush in your child’s bedroom).
- Do guide your child back to the routine poster when they get distracted. This can be as simple as asking, “What needs to happen next on your poster?”
- Don’t engage in power struggles. Instead use your poster as a guide of what will happen next.
- Don’t worry if it takes some time for your child to learn the routine. Trust that your child is learning a new skill and you are teaching tools that will last a lifetime.
- Don’t use the morning routine poster as a way to bribe or punish. You are teaching your child to develop time management and life skills, so be gentle with yourself and your child.
There’s one more thing that Knight warns is the No. 1 worst thing you can do in the mornings: using the TV or electronic devices. “Don’t let your kids turn on a device unless they are completely ready to walk out the door, including having their shoes on, teeth brushed, and bookbag by the door,” she says.
By preparing and unplugging, your family has the foundation for a calmer day all around.
