Taking care of a baby or toddler on your own can be tough, especially if you are a stay-at-home parent and your partner is gone from the home for hours at a time. It can feel even more challenging if your partner doesn't feel like you're doing things the best way.
One dad has taken issue with how his wife is beginning the day with their 20-month-old, so he decided to ask people on Reddit what they think.
He begins by laying out the details from his point of view.
The man writes, "My son is a 20 month old toddler, my wife is a stay-at-home mom, I work six days a week and I'm usually gone for twelve hours a day. I always check in on my son remotely via our nursery cam app and he's always awake in the mornings around 8:00. He has a great sleep routine. Our 'wind down' time starts at the same time every evening, we clean up toys, read a book, when I lay him down he's still awake, he falls asleep on his own and sleeps all night for at least twelve hours."
He checks on his wife and child around 9 a.m.
"It's usually after 9:00 before I have a chance to check the camera, this morning when I checked it was 9:12 and some mornings are closer to 10:00," the man continues. "Every time I look though, he's awake in the dark and standing in his crib just waiting. When I see this, I immediately turn on the brightest night light the camera has and speak to him through the camera app. I always tell him good morning and I love him and he usually laughs and says 'Dada'. Then I leave the app, call my wife to wake her up."
He says it takes a while to wake her up.
"I usually have to call three to four times and when she finally answers, it's obvious that she just woke up and only because I called. I tell her that our son is awake waiting for her and that she needs to get up to start their day."
His wife seems to feel micro-managed.
"This morning while on the phone, I asked her if she was going to get him after using the bathroom and she said no, she was going to the kitchen to prepare their breakfast and THEN she'd get him," he explains. "I asked her to get him after the bathroom so he could go to the kitchen with her and she flipped out. She told me it pisses her off that I call EVERY morning to tell her how to be a mom and that she has a routine. I retorted with 'well, your routine sucks because he's been awake for an hour and you'd still be asleep if I hadn't called.'"
He offers up a defense as well.
He concludes, "I just bothers me that he has to wait so long. He needs a diaper change, he's probably thirsty, hungry and just wants to play.
"Am I wrong though? Do I need to stop? Please be completely honest with your answers."
At first, some people were on his side.
One commenter wrote, "The kid is not going to cry if it's been normalized that he needs to wait in his crib for 1 to 2 hours." Another commenter added, "Totally agree with this. 1 to 2 hour wait is just sad. I hated reading this post. Your wife is a negligent mother."
But then he admitted his wife has a number of health concerns.
Later in the thread, the original poster (OP) revealed his wife is dealing with chronic fatigue and could also be battling depression: "Depression medicine didn't work, blood tests were 'good except low b-12', she 'forgets' to take the b-12, now she takes medicine that normally treats ADHD/narcolepsy and has chronic fatigue."
People began to turn on him.
One commenter replied, "So your wife is depressed, and you know this, and you left it out of the post. How unsurprising."
Another added, "And he didn’t mention the CHRONIC FATIGUE either?! OP you need to add this to your post!"
Now people aren't on his side.
In one section discussing how tough it can be to take care of a young child alone, one commenter added, "Then throw an unsupportive husband micromanaging her into the mix, it must be very difficult. I imagine she’s emotionally and physically exhausted. Being alone with a child for all those hours a day is difficult enough when you’re feeling healthy, no matter how much you love them."
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