Bringing a newborn baby into a home usually comes with a rough transitional period. During that time, it can definitely help to have family and friends to lean on, especially if you have other children in the home or your new baby is a little challenging. One mom is insisting that she and her husband have the "worst baby ever" and says that what makes it even worse is that no one will help them.
The mom posted in the parenting forum on Reddit:
"Our baby is 9 months old and never ( and we mean never) stopped crying longer than 45 minutes. At night she only sleeps in 40-minute intervals and wakes up screaming. What’s worst is she will not let dad calm her only me. Her dad has tried and tried and she almost choked on her spit cause she was crying so much and we had to call 911. Doctors said there’s nothing wrong with her medically and she’s just a “fussy baby” we have tried everything we can think of to get her to stop."
She also shares that they have everything down pat, and that their baby should be set up for success. She and her husband have a bedtime routine in place, and their baby girl gets a pacifier each night. But she hates the pacifier and spits it out as soon as it's put into her mouth.
To make matters more intense, the woman and her husband are also parents to a nonverbal autistic 4-year-old: "So even during the day when she stops crying and passes out for 30 or 40 minutes I have to work with my son. He’s at the point where we have to keep them separated cause he just wants to hit her to get her to stop crying so all the day energy is keeping them apart and happy."
They've reached out to family and friends to help them, but she says no one will help anymore because the children are too much: "nobody will help us. Family doesn’t want to deal with her and her brother cause they're too much work and friends have vanished and no babysitter due to the virus."
Their baby's crying is taking a huge toll on everyone in the home: "I haven’t slept in 9 straight months longer than 2 hours. I’m not going to make it please what can we do to get this baby to stop crying. I’m so miserable I’m crying. Please can someone offer up some advice to get this to stop."
It's tough for two people to be dealing with so much, especially at a time when it's not as easy to get help from outside the home. Having a baby who cries endlessly can be such a truly numbing experience as well, and it's even worse when you feel like everything you have tried has failed.
People who saw the mom's plea online have been thoroughly concerned for everyone involved. One person says that there has to be something more going on.
"That's so concerning. She cries like that all day and all night? and it's always been that way? And your pediatrician said that is normal? Is she meeting her other milestones? Does she calm down when she's eating?
“I know it’s a challenging time to do so, but I would absolutely seek a second opinion. I have a 10 and a half month old and literally can’t imagine living like that, nor have I seen any other babies that age that still scream like a colicky newborn.”
But the mom says that they tried getting a second opinion, and even a third:
"My husband said there must be something wrong too but we went to 3 different doctors and all said nothing is wrong. She does calm down while eating and is meeting most of her milestones only missing is sitting up because she flares her back backward and falls."
Another parent seconds the idea that something medical must be going on, because they've lived a similar experience:
"Yea, we’re on kid 2 and by 2 months in she was having daily/nightly freak outs that’s sometimes resulted in nonstop crying for a couple of hours. Even still, she had periods where she would settle and sleep. But we took her to the ER eventually because we weren’t seeing any results from the normal remedies like what [the original poster, OP] was talking about. Turned out she was on the super extreme bad end of the acid reflux spectrum. Got her on meds and one month later she’s sleeping most of the night in the crib uninterrupted and happy most of the day. Completely different baby. There is 100% something going on medically with OP’s baby. OP, go see another doctor."
Another parent also says it has to be reflux:
"I have an infant cousin that is generally the best baby ever but occasionally got incredibly fussy. You know, the baby screaming where it’s blood-curdling and their whole body tenses. She refused bottles and wouldn’t take a paci and only stopped crying when bounced in someone’s arms whilst standing. It was exhausting. Finally, some doc sent aunt + uncle home with some reflux meds and she’s back to being a unicorn baby (near toddler now). From the sound of OP, I’d guess reflux or bad gas, something like that. Might need a fourth opinion."
While symptoms of acid reflux tend to peak around 4 months of age, many infants continue to suffer from the condition until they are 12 or even 18 months old. Symptoms include:
- Spitting up and vomiting
- Refusal to eat and difficulty eating or swallowing
- Irritability during feeding
- Wet burps or hiccups
- Failure to gain weight
- Abnormal arching
- Frequent coughing or recurrent pneumonia
- Gagging or choking
- Chest pain or heartburn
- Disturbed sleep
Other people felt that the mom also needed some advice for how to help her 4-year-old warm toward his sister, or at least get through the situation.
"Does the 4 yr old have earphones? And an Ipad? Fun apps?
“My husband is autistic and I am a PreK-1st gr teacher. In school I had some earphones that I cut the wires off for kids that just wanted silence. And others that connect to Ipads of course. RAZ Kids would be a good website (cheap) to help him with learning and vocabulary.”
In the end, the mom received a lot of advice and help from people, and hopefully a little comfort, too. After all, when you're taking care of small children, it always helps to know someone out there is in your corner. In this mom's case, she found out that a whole lot of people are really rooting for her and her family of four.
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