Being a mother is hard, as all moms will tell you. There's no manual on how to be the perfect mom, and many women struggle with this issue before and after childbirth. The only fact they know for sure is that they love their babies and children more than life itself.
Pam De Almeida, the blogger behind the Facebook page Slice of Life, is no stranger to this concept, especially because she is the mom of a daughter with special needs.
Pam's daughter, Sophia, has Down syndrome. Since her birth, she's learned about what it's like to be stared at and even demonized by other parents. She has also realized that many others support her and her journey with her child and family.
She also didn't expect many parts about this role, like how she could lose friends. It was one falling out with a friend and her daughter's admittance to the hospital with a blood infection that allowed Pam to take a deeper look at this journey.
Scroll down to read more about the few "secrets" that she shared in a Facebook post.
Please SHARE to support this brave mother and her beautiful daughter!
She posts on Facebook:
"The last [14] days I spent in the hospital taking care of Sophia really allowed me to look internally. I realized that as a 'special-needs mom,' I have a few secrets. Secrets that I never confess to, have never talked about, not even to my friends and family.
"I'll admit, I am pretty hesitant to share this, but after a few days of thought, I decided I would like to share my secrets."
"1. I'm not always strong/brave. I worry. I cry. I get nervous and anxious. I am told with some frequency 'you are such a strong mama!' When in reality, I feel anything but strong. I do what needs to be done because I have to. Because there isn't another option.
"And this doesn't make me special. This doesn't make me brave. This certainly doesn't make me a super mom, because in reality, if you were in my shoes, you would be doing this, too. Because ultimately, isn't that what moms do for our kids?!"
"2. Society as a whole is filled with kind people. Nice people. Down-to-earth, open-the-door-let-you-in-first-kinda people. But some people are cruel. Now I don't live in a bubble. I know there is hate in the world. I know there is racism, prejudice, and discrimination. I just didn't know how real it was until I became a special-needs mom.
"I have been told I should have aborted Sophia. I have been told that she will be a drain on society. I have been told that I am lucky to at least have one 'normal' kid at home. These words do hurt.
"I know it seems like I let them just roll off my back. I know it seems like I have a thick skin. But I cry. I cried every time someone said these mean things. But I also moved on. Even though these words hurt, I made a point to move forward in spite of them, and not let them have power over me."
"3. You lose friends, and it makes you feel lonely. Why? Maybe they cannot understand what it is [you're] going through. Perhaps it's too hard for them to relate. Maybe they feel like I have enough on my plate that they don't want to burden me and choose to leave me alone.
"What I want to say to them now is, I needed you. When my life got crazy busy with appointments, therapies, doctor's visits, hospital stays, and treatments, I needed you. I didn't need space. There was already too much space. I have watched over the years as the 'space' between some friends have widened… Eventually opening so wide that neither of us could come over again, and it's heartbreaking."
"4. And the one you will never hear me speak… I worry about dying. Specifically, Sophia. It's horrible, I know. To write these words. But when your child has health issues and is pretty much at a 'higher' risk to develop every disease and catch every sickness there is, it worries you. You don't let it consume you.
"But it's there… hidden deep into the back corner of your brain and your heart because you know how awful it feels to even think this. To feel this way. And every time you do think about 'it,' you quickly tuck it back into that deep corner and feel ashamed for even thinking it, no matter how brief."
"But the biggest point that I want taken away from this post is that I wouldn't change any of it. Not for a day, not for a minute, not even for a second. No matter how hard or challenging things become, no matter how many friends walk away, no matter how many cruel comments, no matter what health issues we will face, we will face them together.
"Love you ,sweet Sophia."
Please SHARE if you know that every child with special needs is just as beautiful and precious as a child without them!
