More than 10 million people are affected by domestic violence every year in the U.S. LittleThings has partnered with Safe Horizon during October, which is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, to tell the stories of real people impacted by partner abuse.
Lisa, a teacher, mom to two, and abuse survivor, shares her story about leaving her husband and high school sweetheart, after years of emotional abuse, which culminated in a terrifying attack that left her in the hospital.
“My now ex-husband and I had been together since we were 16, and in high school. We had just had our 25th wedding anniversary.
“It was a night in August, and I found out that he was having an affair. He was drinking, and, ironically, we were watching Ellen DeGeneres. I had listened to a message [on his phone] and realized that a friend of mine was having an affair with him.”
“I confronted him about it, and he screamed, ‘Give me my phone,’ and jumped up and started chasing me. He grabbed me by the ponytail and threw me to the floor and hit and kick me. He smashed my head onto the couch. I bit him trying to get away, and he bit me. He proceeded to go into the kitchen to get something to drink, and then came back into the living room and just started beating me.
“When he finally stopped, my ears were ringing. I just thought to myself, ‘You have to get up.’
“I crawled and got myself down the stairs [of our house] and I hid for 20 minutes outside in my nightgown. It seemed like hours.”
“It wasn’t that dark, and I eventually saw the garage light go on. I saw our Jeep go up the driveway and I thought, ‘I have to get into the house, and get my phone and get my purse.’
“I went into our bedroom for shoes and clothes, and I saw him coming down the driveway again.
“I got out of the house as quickly as I could. Thank god the light post was out on our street and he couldn’t see me.
“I called my brother, who lives in the same town, to come and get me, and I went and hid by a vacant house squatting between two trees.”
"It felt like this horrible James Bond moment — here I was crouching on the street, hiding from my husband: this person who I had considered by best friend, who I had put on a pedestal.
"I heard a car come for me, and I jumped in and my niece drove me to [my town’s] middle school, where my brother was waiting for me.
"My brother tried to convince me to go to the police, and that’s when I learned my ex had actually called the police on me."
"When I went to the police station, they took one look at me and, [realizing what had happened] escorted me into a private room and helped me file a report. I then went to the hospital, where I spent the night.
"I lived in my brother’s house for the six weeks. I couldn’t live alone — I was traumatized.
"My left breast was so badly hurt I had to get sonograms so they could monitor the damage. I had bruises all over my head, breasts, back, the right side of my ribs were broken — I could barely get out of bed."
“My daughter was in Copenhagen when this happened, and I remember when she came home, she told me, ‘He’s been emotionally abusive for years, I watched it, I’ve been a target.’ I just hadn’t seen it until this happened.
“What changed for me that night is that I knew I had to change my life. I started to share my story and got comfortable telling people what had happened to me. I had to become a good role model for my daughter and show her that I wasn’t just going to sit back and relax and let this happen to me.
“It’s my mission to help anyone I can. A friend confided in me about a co-worker who was in a similar situation, and I did everything I could to help her. Her husband is now in jail, and she works at a [domestic violence] hotline as a support person.
“I have a new life now and I’m totally empowered. I don’t have to ask anyone’s permission to buy myself a new pair of shoes. I’m much more confident. My niece encouraged me to make a change and run the Turkey Trot. After that, I was hooked on running. I have bettered my time in 5K runs by more than 5 minutes, and have even come in first place for my age group in my most recent race. I actually got a medal!”
"I want people to learn from my story that this can happen to anyone. And it’s worth it to do whatever it takes to get yourself out and to safety, and to find yourself a positive future."
Join Safe Horizon to #PutTheNailInIt and take the vow to end domestic violence. Support victims of domestic violence by painting your left ring fingernail purple, and use the hashtag #PutTheNailInIt to show your vow to end domestic violence. If you are a victim of domestic violence, and in need of help, visit SafeHorizon.org.
This interview has been edited and condensed.
