The first thing that brand-new moms learn about motherhood is that it's anything but glamorous — in fact, it's a big old beautiful mess. Autumn Benjamin wanted to dispel any confusion about this fact by posting a postpartum photo of herself in her decidedly unglamorous mesh hospital undies. The photo also shows off her big pregnancy belly as she is breastfeeding her newborn. You read right — your belly takes more than a few days to bounce back after you've given birth.
Postpartum bellies are rarely seen on social media. This is likely because they represent the difficult and unpleasant parts of childbirth and motherhood that we'd rather all forget. But by pretending the unpleasantries don't exist, we forget how much moms can sacrifice to bring new life into the world.
The pain doesn't stop after the baby is out of the womb. Childbirth is extremely hard on the body, and it can takes weeks for some moms to recover — or longer. All the while, they're struggling to figure out how to take care of a tiny, very vulnerable stranger. It's… a lot! Autumn talks about such difficulties in her candid Facebook post.
Hospital Fashion
Autumn posted this photo to social media taken just two days after giving birth to baby Layla.
"Wearing these big mesh panties, still sporting a pregnant belly… no one told me your belly doesn’t go down immediately."
Autumn has posted hard truths about the human body on Facebook before. In July, she took the time to explain to her followers that vaginal discharge is, in fact, completely normal.
"A vagina that’s constantly dry is not normal and you should more than likely contact your OBGYN."
Thank You for Your Service
Then, on August 7, she made the decision to share some parental insight alongside a very intimate photo of herself, taken about six months earlier, when Layla was first born.
No one can blame her for taking six months to decide to post the photo. Aside from the physical recovery, the first few months of parenthood are extremely tough.
In April, Autumn wrote a beautiful post about the fears and difficulties of pregnancy, as well as the postpartum struggles she faced after the baby arrived.
"9 months of days that felt like an eternity, praying for your safe delivery, and daydreaming about hearing your cry, and seeing your sweet face."
A Close Call
Autumn and her husband Kevin had a scare early in her pregnancy, when they had trouble detecting Layla's heartbeat at eight weeks.
"We sat in the hospital together in silence, worry, and tears. But there was your heartbeat, flickering on the screen… and mama was sent home on bed rest."
In spite of it all, Autumn declares that she has no regrets.
"I would do it all again a thousand times over for you. I would relive my hardest days of pregnancy."
Perineal Tearing: Worse Than Any Horror Movie
However, what she described in April wasn't the worst of what she went through. In her latest candid post, she describes the intense pain associated with common vaginal tearing that happens during childbirth.
"I was also in so much pain… no one tells you that typically with a 'quick delivery' comes a bad rip. I ripped all the way up and down, and also side to side."
First-time moms have a 95% chance of experiencing some kind of tearing during childbirth.
Autumn's tearing was so severe she could barely walk — or do much of anything involving the area between the legs.
"I couldn’t use the bathroom. I wore these big depends diapers."
So Much Crying
Then there's the emotional toll — all those hormones can turn new moms into tear machines.
"No one told me that I would spend hours crying and full of emotion. I remember just laying there in the hospital bed crying."
Part of that, Autumn admitted, was the fear that her baby was no longer safe.
"It’s all a blur but I do remember saying 'she’s not safe inside of me anymore' and that was a really hard thing to work through."
Finally, there's the lifelong sacrifice of giving up yourself for your child.
"Most moms give up a lot of their hobbies, dreams, and plans. Moms put their lives on hold so their babies can live out theirs."
Her words seem to have struck a chord. More than 22,000 commenters (and counting) took the time to send her messages of love and support.
"Most probably the most touching post I've read in a while," wrote Angela Cristell. "You really have changed my perspective about the journey of child birth."
But being the internet, there were a few dissenters. A few commenters clearly have never been pregnant or given birth to a baby. We're looking at you, Hayden.
The important thing is that Autumn is clearly going to be an amazing mom, and Layla is going to have a wonderful childhood. Congratulations to them both!
