Becoming a mom is one of the most important titles you can earn. It's selfless and brave — and a journey that you can't fully prepare for. Yes, you can buy the wipes and the diapers and the crib. But you can never prepare for the emotional roller coaster you're about to go on.
Motherhood comes with ups and downs. One day, you're absolutely confident over your skills as a parent, and the next you may feel like the worst mom in the world. That's all part of parenthood. You might lose sleep based on something you said in the moment. Or you may wonder whether or not your child actually loves you or just tolerates you. You may fear that you can't handle the pressures of motherhood down the road. All of these distracting thoughts just mean you care.
As a mom, it's important to take care of yourself. Here are a few things you should do right after giving birth.
1. Plan a Date Night With Your Partner
Book it in three months. You'll be happy that you did. Granted, you might feel nervous about leaving your newborn for the first time. Ask a parent or trusted relative if they'd serve as your first babysitter. And make sure the date is local, just in case you do need to stop back home for any reason.
This moment will happen eventually, so you might want to rip off the Band-Aid now and realize that it's OK to occasionally go places without your child. You deserve a date night, and once it's over, you'll feel at ease knowing that you left and the world didn't collapse.
2. Ask for Help
It can be very hard to do, especially after you're feeling invincible over birthing a child. But it really does take a village to raise a child sometimes. If you are feeling burned out, or you just need a little bit of company, call a friend over to spend some time with you. If you're recovering from a C-section, let your partner take over the chores for a few days. Allow yourself time to take breaks. If you don't take your recovery seriously, you'll feel worse down the road.
3. Meditate as Often as You Can
Meditation is wonderful, and it works. Think of it like a reset for your brain. The old-school reasoning is that you need to "sleep when the baby sleeps," but as that's actually impossible in practice, you can swap out "sleep" for "meditate." Find a nice room without a lot of clutter. Turn out the lights. Find a free meditation online to listen to. If you're new, you can start out with shorter sessions. Some meditations are just a couple minutes long, while others last longer. See what works for you, and try your hardest to take these peaceful breaks as often as you can.
4. Make Time for Friends
Even if your friends aren't new moms, being around them — either on Zoom or in person — will help lift your spirits and remind you that you're more than just a mom. That first year is really hard, especially if you're choosing to breastfeed. Your schedule and activities depend solely on the baby, and it can wear you out.
So accept those invites to hang out. Or start your own. Your friends also need to know that you're open to these things and still want to see them. (Just try not to monopolize every conversation and make it about the baby. Yes, talk up your adorable son or daughter, but make sure to give your friends the floor to talk about their lives as well.)
5. Take Walks Outside
Either with or without a stroller. While it's wonderful to take your baby out for strolls (especially when the weather is nice), it's also nice to go out by yourself, accompanied by a podcast you've been meaning to catch up on. Getting out and seeing nature is a great way to de-stress. Right now, you shouldn't worry about exercise as a way to "bounce back." View exercise as a great way to clear your mind and give yourself a reset on days you need it most.
6. Take Car Rides With Your Baby Around the Neighborhood
While driving can be a lot of fun, it's often really hard for some new, nervous moms to take that step. For moms with anxiety, it can be scary to buckle your baby in and not see their face based on their car seat's rear-facing position. But it's something you need to get used to. Taking baby steps (literally) and getting some practice with some neighborhood drives will ease you into eventually driving on highways with your baby. Even getting outside is good practice.
7. Step Back and Enjoy the Small Moments
Here's something nobody really tells you — the baby years are over before you know it. Your child is growing and learning every day, and it's amazing how quickly it happens. When you're stressed out, try to sit back and enjoy the little things — like the newborn snuggles and the way your baby looks at you with pure adoration. Pat yourself on the back — you created a life, and that's one of the most incredible things someone can do. Being a mom can be quite overwhelming, so when you're stressed by the tears and the lack of sleep, focus on the things you'll really miss about this beautiful stage.
