Stepparents don't always assume financial responsibility for their stepchildren, but in plenty of blended families, they do. This can play out in different ways, depending on what the needs of the child or children are.
One stepdad recently shared on Reddit that he no longer wants to pay his stepdaughter's college tuition because she's choosing to pursue medical school, and he thinks it's a bad idea. While it's true that it's his money to choose what to do with, he's in a tough spot with his wife and his stepdaughter.
He and his wife have been married for 10 years.
"My wife and I have been married for a decade. She’s a stay at home wife and we have no children of our own," the stepdad begins. "She has a daughter from a previous relationship (Sarah) and we’ve gotten along for the most part. Sarah is a junior in college and pursuing a biology degree with additional courses required by medical schools. She’s had dream of being a doctor and helping people since her mom and I met. The problem is she’s not a very good student."
He doesn't think his stepdaughter is very good in her chosen field.
"She’s failed her biology 1 class and had to retake it to get a B," he continues. "She really struggled in her next level biology class and finished with a C. She also got a C in her chemistry class. She got a B in calculus 1 and 2. She’s making A’s in her none science and none math classes so they’re padding her GPA which is at a 3.2. This semester I just learned she will make B’s and C’s in her science and math classes."
He's not even sure if she has the grades for a related field.
"I’m not a doctor and I don’t know any doctors but I did online research. I found out that medical schools require many things but at the top of the list they is a high GPA and top grades in science and math classes. With Sarah’s grades, she’s not getting into any medical school. I even looked into nursing school to see if I can talk her into going that route and all the ones I looked at require higher grades than what she has."
His wife disagrees.
"I talked with my wife about it and she said medical school looks at other things besides grades and that’s where Sarah excels," the man explains. "She has a solid volunteer resume and she’s cares about people. I argued none of that matters if her grades are not good enough. She argues that Sarah will do great in the interviews. Like I said, I have no experience with medical school so I can’t argue with her logic."
He tried to talk to his stepdaughter, and now everyone is mad.
"Instead, I talked with Sarah when she came home for thanksgiving and told her to look into another major because she might not be cut out to be a doctor. She ran to her mom and we all got into a huge argument. I admit I lost my temper and yelled I’m not wasting any more money on something she’ll fail at. I told them both I’m not paying for next semester’s classes unless she changes her major to something more realistic."
Some people are on his side, mostly.
One commenter was immediately on his team, writing, "Medical schools are very competitive and everyone of them have a minimum GPA requirement. If her GPA is below that, they’ll automatically reject her without the chance of an interview.
"While she can make a decent living with a biology degree, she has to be good in science and math to excel in those fields. If she’s making B’s and C’s, they’re not even going to interview her."
The mom might be giving her daughter false hope.
One person went a step further and blamed the mom. They wrote, "I actually don't think the mother is being supportive. Rather, she is giving her daughter false hope. She's not being kind, she's being cruel.
"Extracurriculars and whether you're a nice caring person and stuff are things that get taken into consideration after you've met the academic requirements. This idea she's spouting that somehow Sarah will just pull off a great interview is just absurd. She's not going to get an interview, they're not even going to look at her history of volunteer work.
"It's just not going to get that far. The most thought anyone is going to give Sarah's application is to wonder why anyone would bother applying for a course that they clearly don't meet the prerequisites for."
But maybe there is a third way.
A third commenter presents a different option, writing, "I agree that she's not doing to get into med school, but she seems to be doing well enough to get her bachelor's, so I don't think it's a waste to continue. Switching to a soft science isn't going to likely result in better prospects than a BS in the sciences anyway.
"I think the daughter needs to get a tutor and see if she can strengthen her foundation, as well as come up with a plan B. [The stepdad's] money isn't wasted if she doesn't get in to need school after undergrad, as long as she stays in the sciences."
