One of the biggest fears people have going into relationships is that their partner will turn around and cheat on them. The idea of the one we love becoming emotionally or physically intimate with someone else can be enough to churn our stomachs, but some studies show that between 25 and 50 percent of relationships will have to deal with infidelity at some point. However, many victims of cheating never find out about their partner's betrayal, and part of the reason for this is because the signs of cheating aren't always as clear as finding another woman's lingerie hanging on the doorknob.
For many relationships, cheating is a surefire way to guarantee a breakup. Some people even take things a step further and get revenge on their cheating partners, such as this woman who put up a hilarious Craigslist ad in response to her husband's unfaithful ways. While many people hope to catch their cheating soon-to-be-exes in the act and get revenge like this woman did when she caught her husband doing something unbelievable with her twin sister, most of us aren't so lucky. Instead, it's the little things that add up over time that finally give away the fact that something just isn't right.
If you aren't sure that you have enough evidence to accuse your partner of cheating, look at these little signs that may point to infidelity. If you can only check off one or two items on this list, your suspicions might be unfounded, but if you find yourself nodding along to a large number of these entries, it might be time to have a serious conversation with the one you love.
Make sure you SHARE these signs of cheating with all your friends so they can know if they're in an unfaithful relationship!
1. They suddenly have passwords for everything.
If your partner suddenly switches from having a password-free lifestyle when it comes to their computer and mobile devices to having all of their electronics locked, it could be a sign that they're trying to hide something. Sure, it's way smarter to have passwords on your devices, but if they seem hesitant to give you access to their phone or tablet, the reasoning for their sudden desire for privacy is probably not due to their fear of robbers and hackers, but of being caught messaging someone they shouldn't be.
2. They have a higher libido.
Even though you might assume that someone having an affair wouldn't have any romantic interest leftover for the person they're cheating on, an affair can awaken a sleeping libido and cause your partner to start acting like you two are brand-new lovers once again. If you two go from having sex once a week to your partner not being able to keep their hands off you within the span of a few days, you're well within your rights to raise an eyebrow at their behavior.
3. They start accusing YOU of cheating.
This is a behavior called "projecting," and if you've ever been cheated on before, chances are, you've seen it. The partner who's actually guilty of being unfaithful will start to feel that if they are capable of going outside their relationship to satisfy their needs, then what's to say that their partner won't do the same thing? Be on the lookout for your partner suddenly questioning you about your friends, snooping through your messages, and flat out accusing you of flirting or cheating.
4. They start defending other cheaters.
"Their marriage was failing anyway." "It's just a one-time thing. He should forgive her." "Everyone makes mistakes." If these phrases start coming out of your partner's mouth when you discuss infidelity between celebrities or your friends, it's time to be concerned. At best, they're telling you that they think cheating is no big deal. At worst, they've already committed their own crimes against your relationship and are hoping to alleviate their guilt or even do preemptive damage control for when you inevitably find out about their unfaithful ways.
5. They start looking better.
When you've got a crush or start dating someone new, you might start hitting the gym more, dressing better, and generally taking care of your appearance more. While we sometimes realize we let ourselves go and decide to make a change, it's totally fair to become suspicious if your partner suddenly starts trying to look like a model after being a "jeans and T-shirt" sort of person since you've known them. It might be that they're just trying to do some self-improvement, but it could also be that they want to look extra good for their new fling.
6. They become territorial.
Suddenly, they start coming up with excuses to deny you access to places like their office or their favorite restaurant, even when they used to love it when you showed up there before. Maybe they really are just sick of the food at that taco joint they used to love, but it could also be that they don't want any of the staff or regular customers to make a comment about the other cutie you've been bringing in recently. Be on the lookout for them doing things like always needing to "clean out" their car before you use it, too; this could be their way of making sure there's no evidence of scandalous activity for you to stumble upon.
7. Their purchases don't match up with your relationship habits.
Have you ever found a receipt for condoms even though you'd been trying for a baby for the past few months? Did you come across some lingerie in the laundry basket you could have sworn you'd never seen her wear? These little inconsistencies can be frustrating, because while they're confusing, they're rarely hard evidence that your partner is being unfaithful. You might feel a bit strange or even foolish for asking your partner about what you've found, especially if they come up with a completely plausible explanation for your discovery. But if those strange purchases keep happening, you might want to do some more investigating.
8. They start being EXTRA nice to you.
While it's always nice when a partner decides to start spending extra cash on fancy dates and flowers "just because," warning bells should start ringing in your head if they start doing it out of nowhere. Many cheaters try to turn their partners' heads the other way by spoiling them, hoping they'll be so focused on all the good that they won't even suspect anything fishy.
9. They get really nosy about your schedule.
Why would your partner ask you what time you'd be home from the gym five times? Maybe they're forgetful, maybe they're planning a surprise for you, or maybe, just maybe, they want to make sure they have their new fling out of your house before you step into it again. If you notice your partner constantly checking up on you to see when you'll be home and have no reason to think they're making you something for a special occasion, it might not hurt to get home 20 minutes earlier than you'd planned to make sure their questioning is actually innocent.
10. They encourage you to flirt more.
While some cheaters are big on projecting and become irrationally jealous when they're the ones being unfaithful, others lose their jealous streak entirely. If your partner normally gets a little flustered when they see someone else hitting on you, but now they don't even bat an eye and possibly even encourage you to flirt back, it might be a sign that they're trying to make their own bad behavior not seem so bad. It could even be an indication that they're feeling remorseful for their actions and recognizing that if they're going to look for love elsewhere, then you should be able to have a little fun, too.
11. They get TOO detailed when telling you about their activities.
Many people think the easiest way to catch a liar is by listening to them tell extremely vague accounts of their night out, but in reality, the opposite is more likely to be true. If your partner really just went out for a drink with the guys, he'll probably remember basic details such as what he ordered and that one bad joke the bartender wouldn't stop telling. But if he starts going on about how Tim's brother showed up at exactly 11:32 and drank exactly one and a half martinis while wearing a dark blue Ralph Lauren shirt with two buttons undone, he's either got a great memory or he's trying to convince you of something that didn't really happen.
12. They become skeptical of your friends' intentions.
In addition to projecting their infidelity onto you, they might also project their scandalous intentions onto your friends. If they start saying things like, "Men and women can't be 'just friends,'" or "That guy is only being nice to you because he wants to sleep with you," it's probably because they're the type of person who can't be friends with the opposite sex without wanting something more than a platonic relationship. They know what they're capable of when confronted with temptation, and as a result, they think that every woman or man must also be wrestling with the same things. Sometimes, we do have friends who just want to get into our pants, but if your partner believes that there's no way that any of your platonic friends aren't secretly trying to sleep with you, it might be their own guilt seeping through the cracks.
13. They have a sudden interest in new hobbies.
Sure, there have been times when all of us have become fixated on a new activity after becoming inspired by someone who does it really well. However, if you notice your partner becoming strangely obsessed with something they normally wouldn't have cared about at all, it might be a sign that they're trying to learn more about it to impress someone else. If your heavy-metal-loving partner is suddenly playing nothing but country music, or your spouse who only drinks wine starts hitting up all the craft breweries in the city, it's at least worth asking them what inspired their new interests.
14. They start to engage in other impulsive behaviors.
The thrill of doing something scandalous can make a person feel years younger than they really are, which can inspire them to participate in other "youthful" activities. If your beau suddenly decides to get a new motorcycle or starts going out and getting super-drunk with their friends, it might be more than just a midlife crisis. Don't rule out the possibility that an affair is the cause of all this spontaneous and reckless behavior.
15. They get defensive over everything.
A simple question about their day at work gets a snappy response and a "Why do you care so much?" You're constantly accused of being "nosy" or "distrusting," and innocent statements send your partner into a sullen or even angry mood. We all get bad days in which no one can say anything without us snapping, but if your partner's behavior seems to have been going on for a while now, it might be because they have something to feel guilty about. Cheaters can become overly defensive when they start to get nervous about someone discovering their lying ways, so they'll start to think that everything you say is a sneaky way to try to catch them in the act. If your little questions start getting snippy responses, it might be time to start asking the big questions.
Make sure you SHARE these helpful tips with everyone you know!
