The early days of motherhood are sacred. They are also scary and overwhelming. Even if you wanted to have a baby for years, or have done it before, the stresses during postpartum are often immense. You're ill-rested, leaking milk, and probably experiencing at least a few forms of discomfort. Not to mention, you're in incredibly high demand.
Love for your new baby is just one of the many emotions new moms are bound to feel. But the fact is that between hormones and all of the changes that are taking place (in your body, in your home, and in your brain), it's not hard to understand why so many new moms experience struggles with postpartum mental health.
We're only beginning to truly understand the complexities of postpartum. But we do know that support is crucial during this very challenging time.
Here are seven of the best ways to help a postpartum mom:
1. Make Her a Meal Train
Bringing a new mom and her family a meal is an absolutely wonderful way to offer your love and support. Bringing food means that the new parents won't have to cook, and that is heavenly when you're adjusting to caring for a new baby. But if you really want to go the next mile, don't just bring one meal, organize a meal train using MealTrain.com. The site allows people to log on and schedule when they'd like to bring a meal. That way, postpartum parents can get really hooked up.
2. Do a Grocery Run
Going to the store with a newborn baby is, well, it's kind of the stuff of nightmares. Not only are you worried about your baby bursting into tears, you also know (if you're nursing) that that means major leaks. Soaking-wet T-shirts in the frozen food section are kind of a postpartum vibe, but still not the best look. That's why having someone offer to go to the store for you — which, let's face it, will take them so much less time, energy, and planning than it will take you — is so welcomed during those early weeks and months.
3. Give the Gift of a Postpartum Doula
Doulas have become more and more popular in recent years. That's because people have realized just how important it is to have support during birth and postpartum. A postpartum doula is someone who can assist with just about anything, from getting the baby to sleep to household chores or even just sitting by and chatting with the new mom. Postpartum doulas can be pricey, but even a few hours of help can go a long way. If you can't afford to help a new mom out in this way, you can always give your time as a gift, too.
4. Lend a Listening Ear
People always want to know everything about your new baby. What is the name/weight/birthday/sign? But what about how a new mom is doing? Oftentimes, the feelings of new moms get completely overlooked because everyone is more interested in the baby. Babies are cute and wonderful. But chances are, the baby is having an easier time adjusting than mom because all of baby's needs are being met. Crying every time you need something works that way. But all of those constant demands mean that moms don't get to use their voices and share what's going on very often. Offering to just listen to new moms about their experience can help them feel seen and heard.
5. Let Her Sleep
Not getting sleep can be a huge contributing factor to mental health struggles during postpartum. But it is so incredibly hard to get rest when there's a new baby in the house. Not only do they wake constantly to eat, sometimes they get their days and nights confused. That means new parents can be up all day and all night. If a new mom's partner isn't home and has gone back to work, those daytime hours can be truly grueling. Stopping by to give the new mom a break and let her sleep is one of the best ways to help her feel a little bit human.
6. Show Her How To Use a Baby Carrier
Baby carriers can be intimidating to a new mom. But once you figure out how to use them, they can be total game changers. Sometimes, moms need help venturing into the world of baby carriers like Moby Wraps, though. That's why having an experienced mom show her how to use them is so important. Once moms feel confident carrying their baby this way, they'll realize they have two free hands — and probably a lot less crying (from both mom and baby).
7. Remind Her of This Sage Wisdom: This Too Shall Pass
Both times I was postpartum, I held onto this sage piece of advice: This too shall pass. When times got really tough, like when I wasn't sleeping for months on end, or when I had a colicky baby who was never not crying, this sentiment was the only thing that got me through the day. Too often new moms are told they should be enjoying every moment. The truth is that no matter what stage of parenthood we're in, that's simply not realistic. It's makes much more sense to remind new moms that the hard times will not stick around, that sleep will return, and that they'll feel more like themselves soon. Postpartum is hard, but it isn't forever.
