A few years ago, I found myself in organizational shambles. With my career picking up, I felt like I was having trouble keeping things organized.
I'm the type to make a million little lists, jotting things down on corners of papers and the backs of envelopes. I thought centralizing all that to one place was a big step, so while looking into the best way to do that, I was introduced to bullet journaling.
I was pretty instantly obsessed. Bullet journaling is the kind of thing that my type-A self could get into. Once I started looking on Pinterest and Instagram, I saw how many pretty layouts and possible add-ons it had, and for a brief second, it felt like I hacked my own brain.
"This is how I'll finally stay organized," I thought. As it turns out, I thought wrong — and it was because I pursued bullet journaling a little obsessively and ended up burning myself out.
When I first started bullet journaling, I was really into rules.
Generally, I'm pretty content when things have specific parameters, so I thought it was something I'd find really intuitive and easy to incorporate in my day-to-day. I kept it to the very basics to start with and to get a feel for how useful this would be for me.
Once I mastered the basics, I started wanting it to look pretty.
All the Pinteresting and Instagramming got to me, I'll admit it. The more I came to like my bullet journal, the more I wanted it to look pretty. This would be fine if I was a person with any chill whatsoever, but I am not when it comes to things that allow me to buy lots of fun office supplies.
I picked up a few markers.
Well, more than a few markers. I picked up a bunch of markers and highlighters in pretty colors. I switched them out, dreamed up combinations, and thought of all the possible layouts. I was totally enjoying it as a creative outlet, and at this point, it was all still good.
The more I looked at what other people were doing, the more I felt like I was doing it wrong.
The accounts that served as inspiration eventually started to feel like indications I wasn't doing enough. If only I used the right layouts and the right details with the right colors, I might really get things under control. And of course, that's an absurd way to think, but my perfectionism literally put a roadblock to my productivity and the tools I thought I hacked to improve it.
Inevitably, I got overwhelmed and stopped using it.
Which seems ridiculous to a balanced person, I'm sure. I went back and forth for a few years, starting the new year determined and ultimately feeling deflated and discontinuing my use, up until 2021.
By the end of 2021, I started reflecting on what was up with me and this bullet journal thing.
I went over it in my head and realized a few things. One, it was clear I was looking for a creative outlet that I was not having time/making time for. I channeled that into the bullet journal, but it came to a head with my perfectionism and my desire to be the most productive I can be, and it made me resentful of the whole thing.
I also realized that making my bullet journal my creative outlet was making it useless.
The whole point of finding some kind of organizational system for my note-taking and list-making was that I found something fast and easy that worked. Bullet journaling was that for a time, but what I turned it into totally defeated the purpose.
This year, I'm going back to basics.
The truth is we're halfway through January and I've picked up my bullet journal a bunch of times, only to put it back down. I know that when I'm ready to use it again, I want to focus on basics (with maybe just a splash of color). I want to get the most out of it as the organizational tool it was meant to be.
I'm also promising myself more creative playtime.
If I've learned anything from all this, it's that my creative needs weren't being met. The best thing I could do for me is learn to dial back a little and give myself time to be creative and explore that side of things that allows me to relax and be a little less rigid.
