As much as the holidays can completely warm your heart, they can also quickly turn stressful when arguments and disagreements occur over things like where your child is going to be spending Christmas Day.
Co-parenting is never an easy task. It takes a lot of deliberate time management as well as open communication. When you put co-parenting together with the last few months of the year, which are usually chock-full of parties, important holidays, and family get-togethers, things can get intense and easily discombobulated.
The thing to remember is that both co-parenting with an ex-partner and achieving a happy and healthy holiday season for your kid can go smoothly if you go into things with a positive and collaborative frame of mind. Let’s discuss.
Get in touch with your co-parent and discuss and plan out holiday events far in advance.
Most parents look forward to taking their little one trick-or-treating on Halloween night and having their kid wake them up early on Christmas morning to open presents. Unfortunately, when you’re co-parenting a child with an ex-partner, you don’t always have the privilege of having your kid with you for every single holiday or special event.
One of the key ingredients to having a successful holiday season that involves co-parenting is making sure you both look at your calendars and plan things out far in advance.
If there is no formal custody agreement in place, you can communicate that you want to ensure that each parent is able to do the things they want to do with the child during the holidays and attend get-togethers with family and friends. Don’t be afraid to send texts or emails back and forth or even share in a phone call or two to discuss everything fully.
If one parent is super into Thanksgiving and loves to have the family over to watch football and eat turkey, perhaps it can be arranged that your little one will be with that parent on that holiday and you get to have the kid on Christmas Day this year. And the next year, things can go the opposite route.
There may be some negotiating that needs to happen, but be sure to get those calendars and planners out in October to avoid any tense situations down the road.
Remember to stay flexible and try to coordinate busy schedules to keep things friendly and cordial for your kid.
There is bound to be something holiday-themed that’s going to pop up that wasn’t on the already fully mapped-out co-parenting schedule. These things happen whether or not you’re in the middle of the holiday season, but it creates a more positive environment for children as well as adults when you try to just roll with things.
No one is saying that you should let your ex completely take advantage of the situation and attempt to turn the holiday co-parenting schedule completely upside down. But we all know what our former in-laws can be like or flaky family friends who love to make plans last minute. There can certainly be some leniency for things like that.
Plus, if you’re flexible with your co-parent, then chances are when you need to shift things a night in the schedule due to a last-minute holiday gift exchange with a friend from school whose parent you’re good pals with, they will kindly reciprocate. It’s really all about developing a healthy relationship where you feel free to give and take a bit.
Always encourage a positive and healthy relationship with your kid’s co-parent, especially during the holidays.
While the holiday season doesn’t always look and feel the same for divorced or co-parenting families, there is certainly an opportunity to create new traditions with your child that bring on the fun.
For example, you could start the silly tradition that at the start of December, you put out new matching holiday pajamas for both your child and yourself. Not only does it give you something fresh to put on for the season, but it’s a simple gesture that links you in an amusing way.
If you won’t be spending Halloween evening with your kid, you could get together with a couple of family friends and organize a treat hunt for the end of October. This makes things slightly different than your typical Halloween, but still feels festive and like you get to experience a holiday tradition with your child.
Whatever new traditions you decide to take on, whether they’re big or small or completely unique, just allow them to work to connect you to your child during this special time of year. And remember to have fun because next year your little one might not be so little!
