My toddler brings home artwork from preschool, and I place it in a package. I buy my infant tiny socks, and I take one pair and place it in the package as well. When I have enough items, when I feel emotionally prepared, I will send these off to my mother. This is how I build a bridge between my mother and my daughters until we can be together. Throughout this past year, we’ve ensured our daughters maintain a virtual connection with their grandparents, but this connection is tenuous. The intergenerational bond and positive exchange between grandparents and grandchildren is beneficial for the whole family. But how do we move beyond virtual hugs and nurture this relationship in more tangible ways?
When the world seemingly shut down, including school and day care closures, leaving essential workers to keep the nation moving, grandparents stepped in to help. But for many grandparents, their vulnerable state left them adrift, separated from their loved ones. Time that could have been spent between grandparents and grandchildren gardening, dancing, and cooking together suddenly stopped. And yes, technology has helped keep us connected. But there are other ways of making sure grandparents and grandchildren are present in each other’s lives.
Sustaining a bond between grandparents and grandchildren can be a beautiful and fulfilling practice. You can cultivate kinship from a distance by tapping into memory and harnessing your creativity. Just remember, each family is as unique as a fingerprint. So while this guide may help jump-start ideas for gently tending to the family bond, only you know what makes grandparents and grandchildren so special. Lean into that insider knowledge to give these small labors of love your family’s own flavor.
Go Postal
Tech fatigue is real. Between virtual learning and using the internet to replace everyday activities like buying groceries, grandparents and grandkids are tapped out. That means it’s time to go old school. Create a sense of connectivity by sending objects in the mail that grandparents can actually hold and cherish.
Let’s say your child is just learning to write. Have them send handwritten letters to their grandparents. Send art projects, articles of clothing, toys, homemade holiday decorations, photo prints – you get it. You can even send children’s books that grandparents can read to their grandkids over the phone or on video calls.
Reminisce
Children learn so much from their grandparents, and a lot of that teaching comes in the form of storytelling. Grandparents relish opportunities to talk about how you were as a child and how times have changed. Stimulate your child’s imagination by sharing these stories from your childhood. Talk to your children about their grandparents. Get out the old photo album, and show pictures of your parents when they were young. Talk about how they used to be.
Talking about the old days can open a child’s mind to other ways of being in the world. Learning about hardships, achievements, losses, and moments of joy can foster empathy and tolerance in children. These are just a few values that grandchildren gain from spending time in the company of their grandparents. But you can fill in that gap until the time comes when your family can be together again.
Heritage
Foster a deep connection between grandchildren and grandparents by exploring and engaging your family heritage. Without your parents there to correct your use of heritage language or practice, you may feel a bit insecure at first. But choose to see this as an opportunity instead. Teach your child what you know, but humble yourself enough to learn more about your heritage together.
At the superficial level, keeping grandparents and grandchildren connected through heritage can be as simple as playing music and cooking foods that are tied to your culture. But you can form an even deeper bond by fostering language skills that will allow your child to speak to their grandparents in the mother tongue.
Everybody Wins
When this is all over, grandparents and grandchildren may be stunned in each other’s presence initially. Your parents will say, “My, how you’ve grown!” And your children may hide behind your legs, shy and feeling a bit unfamiliar. But taking time to reinforce a real connection between these two generations will help them bond when they can be together once again. You’re not only nurturing familiarity between them, but you are forming links between your past and your future. Embrace the present, missing your parents, continually adapting to unsettling circumstances, and being a conduit for the love between grandparent and grandchild.
