Planning out the holiday season can be tough on budgets, and that is especially true when you have three children and you want to make the holiday as fun and magical as you can. One mom recently shared on Reddit that she was ready to dive into Christmas preparations this year when her husband effectively canceled the holiday for everyone so he could go to the World Cup with his friend and his friend's girlfriend.
She's a stay-at-home mom, and her husband has a job outside the house.
"So I'm a stay at home mom with 3 kids," the woman begins. "My husband works full time and gets an okay- salary BUT he's tightened the grip on spending for the past 4 months to be able to save up to go watch the football event overseas. He's literally obssessed with anything to do with football. He said he rarely ever gets to do what he wants and so I didn't want to judge him since it's his money eventually."
They planned out the holiday before he left ... or so she thought.
"We discussed plans for christmas and he told me to handle everything since he won't be back til Dec. 20th," she continues. "He told me he had put aside money for christmas decoration, food, gifts, kids needs etc. The money in total was 100$."
He gave her $100. Total.
"I was completely shocked I told him 100$ for an entire family's christmas celebration was ridiculously not enough. He shrugged saying it's all he's got but I pointed out how he's paying for his friend's and his girlfriend's travel expenses. He told me to just 'take it' but I said that if he decided to leave me with just 100 bucks then I won't be doing anything for christmas. We had lots of arguments and couldn't get this resolved."
He's telling her she's spoiled.
"He's in Qatar now (he left days ago). Yesterday, while I was cleaning I found an envelope with the same 100$ and a note from him telling me 'to make it work'. I sent him a message that I've decided that I won't be doing anything for christmas with this little money, period. He was livid he just kept sending an angry message after another calling me 'spoiled' and telling me to stop expecting to live like I was still living in my parents house and to stop trying to 'rob' the kids of enjoying the holidays like the other kids."
They aren't speaking.
She finishes, "I haven't replied but he's livid saying I'm punishing him for going and trying to guilt him using his own money."
Obviously, plenty of people in the comments have a lot of thoughts.
Commenters are screaming 'financial abuse.'
The top comment on the post indicates where most people's heads are. The person writes, "Why is it 'his' money when you are in charge of household admin and childcare while he waltzes off with his friends to pay thousands to watch a bunch of overpaid eejuts kick a ball around a stadium built on eco destruction and human rights violations? No sane person from this century could pull of Christmas with 100 bucks unless they go in for petty theft on a grand scale. Ultimatum time, he treats you as an equal financially or you leave and get child support."
They really think she should leave him.
A second person writes, "She won't be able to save money. She's a stay at home mom who is being financially abused. Child support will likely get her a lot more money than what's she's getting now. If she has any friends she could stay with or could talk to a women's shelter to see if they have recommendations on leaving, that would be a good start. Also see if she can talk to legal aid to get advice. Financial abuse is abuse and it doesn't seem like the only type OP is being subjected to, so a women's shelter should have some resources she could try."
People on Reddit are also trying to save the holidays for the kids.
People are also coming up with ideas to make the holiday happen since the kid's dad seems against doing so himself. One person suggests, "Since divorce takes longer and the kids have christmas now, I suggest you make a list of the actual cost and send it to him. Ask him to send back what he would do on a 100$ and you will give the kids THAT Christmas. Because this isn't about your willingness, and you need to make sure that's clear and the kids never ever have him trying to gaslight/manipulate them like this (to accept his nonXmas/pin it on you)."
