Have you ever hosted a party only to find yourself spending the whole time looking after people's kids? One woman found this happening to her repeatedly when she invited guests over to her home. Since she lives on a lake, her house is often the go-to place for family get-togethers.
The woman says she doesn't get to enjoy herself during these gatherings because while everyone else is having fun, she is responsible for taking care of people's kids. Tired of this situation, she decided to do something about it: get high.
The woman sets the scene.
On Reddit, the woman explains that she often hosts family get-togethers at her home because of the nice location. Her husband will drink beer with his brother and dad, she says, and her mother-in-law and sister-in-law will go to wineries. Meanwhile, she is stuck watching the kids. Every time. "I don't get to enjoy my life when we have guests," she wrote.
She decided to get high.
The woman explained that because she was tired of being tasked with taking care of the kids, she made sure she was extremely high when her relatives showed up the next weekend. Because of this, her husband and his brother had to watch the kids that weekend, and their mom was mad at the woman for getting high when she "trusts her to make better choices."
"I told her that my free time is valuable and I wasn't free childcare," the woman wrote. She added that her husband said she should've talked to the relatives again instead of getting high but the woman expressed her frustration with, "I think they now know better than to not ask me if I even WANT to watch the kids." Her husband's brother couldn't even drink that weekend (sound familiar?) "My husband had already had a few so his brother had to stay sober, poor baby," she wrote.
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Reddit users generally side with the woman.
Reddit users agree that it sounds like this woman's relatives were the ones in the wrong — not her.
One person commented: "I couldn't imagine going to someone's house and leaving them by themselves to watch after my kids while I went out and had a good time with someone else who is visiting their home. If they offered, maybe for a few hours occasionally, but it sounds like it's consistently longer than that on a regular basis."
Many do not think too highly of her husband's response.
"This is HIS family, he should handle them, tell them you are not a free babysitter," suggested one user.
Another added that her husband was just happy with the way things were before because he could have fun without worrying about watching the kids. "He didn't even remain sober to help you watch his nieces and nephews," the user noted. "He held the exact same expectation as his family that he could drink and schmooze while you chased the kids. He got all the benefits and goodwill of doing the family a favour while you were stuck with the actual work of it. He should have put a stop to it from day 1 (and if he was the one who was stuck with the kids from the beginning he would have)."
And what about the mother-in-law? Why was she mad at the OP?
Other people wondered why the woman's mother-in-law and sister-in-law thought it was appropriate to go off and do other things while the OP was left with the kids.
One user questioned why her mother-in-law was frustrated with her, commenting: "I don’t understand why MIL is calling only you out or why she and SIL get to leave? Why isn’t she calling out her sons? You don’t just have a sexist MIL problem, but a husband problem if he hasn’t stopped his family. Your husband should be going to bat for you and saying: 'my wife is not free childcare. Everyone has to ask and see (not assume) if she can watch the kids.'”
Others offer their encouragement.
Some people thought the OP's response was perfect.
"Awwwww you weren't sober and they wanted to join but couldn't because they had to have one responsible adult, so sad…. Keep smoking," one wrote.
"You got high in your own house in your own free time," noted another.
Others suggest that she make other plans.
While there was a general consensus that taking care of other people's kids should not be this woman's responsibility and getting high might send the message in a way, some people told the woman that she should make other plans and not be available at all next time.
"Next time do something even better: don't be there," one person advised. "Go out with friends book a day at a spa or whatever else. They have clearly shown they don't value your company, but only the free babysitting services you provide. Not your child, not your responsibility."
At the end of the day, people don't think this would happen to a man.
Why was this woman tasked with caring for the children while everyone else had fun? Surely because she's a woman, some users suggested.
One wrote: "They're just pawning them off on you because you're a woman, aren't they. Screw them!!! Get high!!"
Another commented: "I wish your husband would step up to protect you from this misogyny. You don’t owe them free childcare, period."
Maybe they'll get the message.
Was getting high the right response? Depends on who you ask, it seems. But people seem to agree that this woman is being treated unfairly — maybe her relatives will finally get the message.
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