Meal planning can help make the process of cooking meals throughout the week less stressful, and can also help people stick to a budget when grocery shopping — but there's also a lot of work involved that can create stress too, especially if things don't go as planned. A woman on Reddit explained that the way she shops for groceries and plans her meals has changed due to high prices at grocery stores.
"I have to be aware of every penny I spend in order to get the most of my money when it comes to food. Every week I have a grocery budget, I plan out all meals and what I get for the week is what we have, I do not do extra grocery runs during the week unless it’s absolutely necessary," the Reddit user explained in her post. After her careful planning, she was not happy when her boyfriend ate all of the sour cream one day.
The woman tells her boyfriend she bought the sour cream for meals.
In her post, the woman explained that she bought sour cream with the intention of using it for three meals that week. She told her boyfriend this. She added that she pays for 70% of the groceries because her boyfriend pays for utilities. She is the one who does the planning and shopping. "I always tell him, if he wants additional food or if he’s still hungry he can get it himself (keep in mind we are not portion restricted)," she explained.
Her boyfriend eats all of the sour cream.
The woman said she came home one day to find out that the sour cream that was meant to be used for three meals was gone. She said that her boyfriend "snacked on it throughout the day" and didn't see why it was a big deal. "I try so hard to budget and save money and I feel like he just doesn’t care. I told him he can either buy a new tub or I’m not cooking for the rest of the week," she wrote.
More from LittleThings: Ruby Franke's Husband Kevin Tried To Get Their Oldest Daughter Arrested In September
She freaks out.
The woman admitted that she "blew up and started crying asking him why he would do that when he knows that it was supposed to be used for several meals." Her boyfriend didn't think it was a big deal and said that she could go get a new one. She added that he "is making a point of saying I should be the one to get it not him." Although sour cream is about $3 in her area, she didn't appreciate her boyfriend's lack of respect. She asked Reddit users if she was being too dramatic.
Reddit users think it's about much more than the sour cream.
Reddit users pointed out that there's a huge amount of emotional and mental labor involved in planning what to eat (not to mention, it takes a lot of time). To many, something seemed off about the division of labor.
"That’s infuriating," one person wrote. "Make him take on all of the mental load and responsibility of grocery shopping and you pay for the utilities – he will learn how much he disrespected your money and time. Your arrangement doesn’t seem equal if you are spending way more time and effort to fulfill your portion, js."
One person added that having a partner who plans meals, shops and cooks should be appreciated (not expected). "You know, the bills that come at the same time every month that you can set up autopay for and require basically no work," the person wrote. "He’s getting a fantastic deal and he went and screwed it up."
Some said it sounds like this could be a regular problem.
Some Reddit users pointed out that if the woman got this upset over the sour cream, it's probably something that has happened before.
"It’s a boundary thing from my perspective," one person commented. "If you bought an ingredient for a stated purpose and he ignored that, he created an additional task you need to perform again. If you are this upset, my guess he frequently ignores boundaries or puts an unfair mental in you even if things are financially fair."
Another user agreed: "When someone bursts into tears over someone deliberately trodding over a well established boundary/mention of usage, it's because it's the upteenth time they've done it. It wasn't just today's sour cream. It was likely also a whole loaf of bread, or a whole block of cheese, or the last half of the milk that was needed for xyz that went to him opting to drink milk when he usually doesn't."
Redditors don't think it's about the money either (at least not completely).
Although it sounds like the OP is at least somewhat stressed about money and puts a lot of time and effort into budgeting, to many Reddit users, the problem doesn't seem to be about that — at least not entirely.
"It's not even about the money," one person wrote. "It's about the fact that he disrespected your time and mental energy spent shopping and meal planning and not only that he refuses to spend any time and energy of his own fixing it."
One added: "It’s really about you feeling unappreciated for the work you put into planning to ensure that you’re getting the most bang for your buck. And, it’s likely there’s some stress mixed in there due to the fact that prices have increased."
Many understand why the woman reacted the way she did.
With many Reddit users thinking this woman is doing too much, they completely understood why she reacted the way she did. Some suggested splitting the costs of groceries more evenly, though some said it probably still wouldn't be truly even based on the OP's description of what she does (and what her boyfriend eats).
Most said that the boyfriend should go get another tub of sour cream after eating all of it, and many think that is the absolute least he should do.
"Whether or not he thinks you’re being dramatic you have a valid argument," one person wrote. "The problem isn't how you express your emotions. It’s what he did."
Though most understand, some critique the way she reacted.
Although most were supportive, one user acted like the woman should just calmly explain the situation to her boyfriend. The same user also said that it sounds like her boyfriend doesn't have enough snacks at home.
One person wrote: "'Hey, you ate all the sour cream. I need it for meal prep for three different meals. Please go to the grocery store right now and get us a new tub of sour cream as I need to start cooking. And this is coming out of your money, because I've already bought all the groceries that we needed.' There. No screaming, no crying."
Some agreed, saying the OP "overreacted," while others pointed out that simply telling the boyfriend to go to the store would not work considering the OP already said he wanted her to go to the store to buy the replacement.
A lot of people don't understand why the boyfriend would snack on sour cream.
A lot of Reddit users were perplexed by the boyfriend, not just because he refused to go to the store, but also because he ate sour cream as a snack.
"How did he snack on sour cream? Like with a spoon?" one person asked.
Another wondered: "Who snacks on a whole tub of sour cream??"
The OP confirms that it was not really about the sour cream.
Despite all of the conversation surrounding sour cream, it was not truly about the sour cream, as many suggested.
One user suggested: "I can only speak for myself, but usually it’s not about the 'sour cream'…. It’s usually layers of something."
The OP edited her post to add that the people who responded were correct: it was not really about the sour cream. "Those of you who said it’s not really about the sour cream but about being disrespected are 100% correct," she wrote.
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
