It is good to be open and honest with your partner about everything. This includes past sexual partners and sexual experiences. That does not mean these conversations are always easy. One 20-something woman tried to have a talk with her boyfriend but it did not go well.
The boyfriend got offended and stormed out after learning that some previous men had made his girlfriend squirt, something he has never done before. He told her to call them since they must be better than her. Thankfully in an update it seems he understands the error of his ways.
The couple was having 'the talk.'
This couple seemed to be on the right track to having a productive talk about their sex life. “He is 23M and I am 24F. We really need an outside perspective,” the girlfriend began. “We discussed yesterday a lot about how sexual compatibility and what we can do moving forward. The essence of the conversation was that he wanted more sex (we currently have sex everyday or every other day unless I’m on my period, when I don’t want to) and we discussed way to make sex better for both of us and what we are turned on by. There was in depth conversation about things past girls have done that 'made him cum the hardest he ever had' or were done in 'the best blowjob he’s ever had' none of these statements bothered me, but they did set the tone for the conversation in my head. In the past he has been upset hearing me discuss an ex (not sexually, just in general) and I am not very careful to never discuss past guys. I figured with this conversation, talking about the past was fine and necessary.”
Things escalated quickly.
Things quickly took a turn during pillow talk. “We had sex after the conversation, and afterward he was asking what I liked and didn’t like. I mentioned wanting to be on top more and for longer. We were discussing that and I said I had previously squirted twice with 2 different one night stands when I was on top, and maybe that would happen if I was on top longer. It had never happened before or since. (I know I did not orgasm, and made that clear. I have never orgasmed due to my own issues, and that has never been brought up as an issue),” she went on to say.
The news was not received well.
The boyfriend did not take this new piece of information well. “He immediately blew up and left the room, calling back 'why don’t you go [expletive] them then,' she recalled. “I was completely shocked and confused by his reaction, and I said he was being ridiculous. They were so mediocre I never even texted them back after, neither of them were better/bigger/more attractive/more anything than him. It was just something my body did, it wasn’t any more pleasurable than regular sex (because again, it wasn’t an orgasm, just squirting) and it wasn’t anything those random guys did better. I have had 15-20 partners (which he knows) and this was a random occurrence 2 times in the 8 years I’ve been sexually active. It has literally no bearing on his performance and with how lack luster it was for me, I never expected him to take the information this way. My intent was only to tell him that if I am on top longer it’s possible I can squirt, which felt very in theme with the conversation.”
The boyfriend can't get over it.
It seems like this boyfriend might care more about the lack of orgasm than he is letting on. “We had a huge argument, I didn’t understand why he was THIS upset about it, and he said 'the girl I was with before you was a better fuck than you' and I got really pissed and yelled at him. He said I was being hypocritical, and that what I said was essentially telling him that those guys were better than him. He is now saying he doesn’t think he can ever get past this, and it will always be in his head,” she concluded. She is wondering if she should have kept her mouth shut.
The girlfriend deserved better.
The girlfriend turned to the users of Reddit’s AITA forum for answers. They were overwhelmingly on her side with many of them wanting her to dump the boyfriend.
"HE shared the same type of info, and you were secure enough in yourself to understand he didn't mean it as a personal insult," wrote one user. "He needs to grow up, realize he isn't your first and best (and won't be if he doesn't pay attention to what you're saying without his insecurities eating at him).. Don't let toxic masculinity destroy your desires for good sex. What's good for the goose is damn sure good for the gander."
Reddit thinks she should dump him.
“I don't want to scream dump him, but that was my initial response,” advised one user.
Another user put it bluntly: “Dispose of the entire man. He’s an insecure hypocrite.”
The boyfriend is not all bad.
The girlfriend gave an update that paints the boyfriend in a better light. “Thank you to everyone that responded and told your thoughts and advice, I really appreciate it all! It’s hard on Reddit, because you can only see the smallest piece of a relationship and have to give advice based on that. I am not going to break up with him, but I hear and understand the concerns. He has apologized for the hypocrisy and for his immediate hurtful reaction. He wants to work on his issues and have us move forward,” she explained.
They are going to try to work things out.
“He has made girls squirt in the past and it is frustrating to him that he hasn’t for me. His reaction wasn’t right, but he is human with emotions that don’t always make sense. We are going to work on handling the aftermath better,” she concluded. Let’s hope this couple works things out.
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