Co-parenting isn't easy, but a man on Reddit shocked many Redditors when he shared just how little he seemed to contribute to raising his child. The man explained that his "baby mama" put his name on the deed for her house when their child was born, even though it was her house.
She asked him to sign a document saying that he doesn't live at the house now and though he eventually signed off on it, his reason for doing so was surprising to many: he's afraid of paying child support.
His 'baby mama' doesn't want his name on the deed anymore.
The man explained that the mother of his child lost her job and wants public assistance. In order to qualify, she can't have his name on the deed, the man said. "BM says she can’t get mortgage assistance unless my name is off the deed. My gf says that something seems off," he explained in the post.
His current girlfriend thinks his ex wants him to pay child support.
The man said that his girlfriend "works in child support" and believes that his baby mama is trying to get him to pay child support. "BM had always said she’d never do that, but then my gf showed me the statues and I ran this by BM. She said she withdrew the application when she found out," he wrote. He added that his baby mama said "if she wanted [him] on it, she would've done it by now."
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His girlfriend doesn't want him to sign the deed over to his baby mama.
Based on the man's description, the house in question belongs to the mother of his child and he was only on the deed after they had a child together. Now that she wants him to sign off on the house though, the man's girlfriend thinks something suspicious is going on. "My gf says she’s BSing and explicitly tells me NOT to sign the deed over. Says that I need to file for 50/50 custody," he explained.
He signs off on it, but seemingly because he is scared of child support.
He tried to tell the mother of his child that he did not need to be off the deed in order for her to get assistance, but she responded with: "so now you’re trying to withhold my own house from me?" He signed off on it because he was worried that by not doing so, he would make her mad and "she would keep [him] on child support permanently."
His girlfriend is not happy.
His girlfriend then called him "spineless" and accused him of "giving away the only asset [he] had." Everyone else that he asked disagreed with his girlfriend and thought that he should sign off on the document. "[My girlfriend] even went all the way to say that she felt betrayed and that I chose to appease my BM over protecting our household finances. We have been fighting all weekend, but I genuinely felt like I did the morally right thing, as well as the only thing that’ll make BM drop the child support case," he wrote.
Redditors think he should pay child support.
The OP wanted to know if he did the right thing, but Redditors called him out for something else: not wanting to pay child support.
"Your kid is entitled to regular, consistent financial support from you, not just 'help with bills' when you have cash to spare," one person wrote.
Another commented: "Pay child support. This is not rocket science."
They say getting his name removed from the deed makes sense.
Most agreed that signing off on the document that would remove him from the deed was the right thing to do. Many pointed out that he made it sound like his baby mama was the only who was financially responsible for the house. Based on that, the house belongs to her and is not his, many concluded.
"If the mortgage is only in her name and she's the only one financially responsible, it is her house.. The same house that your child lives in?" one person pointed out. "Seriously, are you going to take your BM house or make her 'buy you out to get you off the deed'? Have you paid the mortgage on the property? Everything else is irrelevant."
They also point out that his girlfriend sounds pretty questionable.
Beyond the fact that the OP doesn't want to pay child support, Redditors also noticed some other red flags. Many were concerned that his girlfriend was being nosy and controlling. Her lack of concern for the man's child and former partner was also alarming to some.
"So signing over a house so you can make sure your child always has a roof over their head is a bad thing to your girlfriend?" one person questioned.
Another commented: "I don't understand women like your girlfriend who are fine with the men they are with shirking their responsibilities. Plus, should she be looking at your private information? Can she be fired for that?"
And again, many wonder why this man is not paying child support.
In case the man forgot, many pointed out that he has a child — one that he should be supporting.
"Why is 'being put on child support' such a terrible thing?" one person wondered. "Is it not your child? If so, you should be paying child support."
"You are 'put on child support' because you have a child to support," another explained, in case the man did not understand why he should pay child support. "You agreed that it was her house, so signing the quitclaim was the right thing to do. Your child deserves to be supported by both parents."
Most Redditors agreed that the man should not be on the deed and should be paying child support, and they believe it should've been this way all along. You never should have been on the deed of the house to begin with.
"You should have been paying child support this whole time," one person advised. "The child’s mother should have filed for it right away. Stop listening to your gf and start doing right by your child."
