Kendra Wilkinson said that she "was dying of depression" when she was hospitalized in September 2023. She was struggling for weeks prior to the day that she asked for help. "There was a moment where I looked at my ex-husband and I said, 'Take me to the hospital,'" she told People. Kendra, who first became famous when she was one of Hugh Heffner's girlfriends on reality show Girls Next Door, revealed that at the time, she "felt like [she] wasn’t strong enough to live anymore.” “I was in a state of panic. I didn’t know what was going on in my head and my body or why I was crying. I had hit rock bottom,” she told People.
The Girls Next Door alum admitted that “Playboy really messed my whole life up." She has struggled with her mental health for many years, including during the time she lived at the Playboy Mansion.
"I really got into deep regret," she admitted. "I struggled with depression before and at the mansion. I drank a lot. I was there for the partying, OK, let's just be real."
She moved into the Playboy Mansion when she was 18, but she started using drugs prior to that.
“I was on drugs at age 15 and I had a lot of issues,” she told People, adding that being sexualized at a young age also had a negative effect on her, destroying her self-esteem.
It's still hard for her to look back at her past self.
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Because of her past, she still questions herself, even today.
“Why did I have sex with Hugh Hefner at that age? Why did I do that? Why did I go to the mansion in the first place? Why did I get big boobs? Why am I a sex symbol? Why did I bleach blonde my hair? Why did I do this to myself? Why did I?" she said when speaking to People.
She reached a low point in her life leading up to her hospitalization in 2023. Prior to seeking help, she was trying to cope with what she was feeling on her own. Her 2019 divorce from Hank Baskett contributed to her feeling isolated, ashamed, and depressed.
"I was trying to fight it on my own. I was trying to cure it on my own and you can't do that. I was isolating, hiding, blaming myself, blaming the world," she told People, describing how she dealt with her feelings before seeking professional help.
She no longer had any hope. "I felt like I had no future," she told the magazine. "I couldn’t see in front of my depression." Admitting that she needed help was the first step she needed to take, and she's proud of herself for taking that step.
“I’m so proud of myself for battling this and finding the solution and getting the treatment I needed," she said.
When speaking to People about the day that she asked her ex-husband Hank to take her to the hospital, she admitted that she "didn't realize how bad I was suffering or what people were seeing of me until I got there."
In order to get the treatment that she needed, she also had to learn to accept that she had a mental health condition.
"To accept medication was the hardest thing to do," she revealed. "It meant I had to accept that I have some mental illness, and I didn't want to have to do that.”
She was given Abilify, an antipsychotic that can help treat several mental health conditions, during her second hospital visit. She also started going to outpatient therapy after the hospitalizations.
Acknowledging that "depression is something that doesn't just go away," she now feels better equipped to cope with mental health challenges.
"What therapy did was that it built this tool system for me," she shared. "So now I have the strength — I have the strength and the foundation I need to overcome my depression.”
Now, she's focusing on her children, and her own life experiences have helped guide her as a parent. She doesn't want her daughter to have the same kinds of experiences that she had when she was younger.
"As a mom I look back at what happened to where I felt like I had to date an older man at the age of 18. What brought me to that point? These are the things I’m trying to correct in my parenting for my daughter. What can I do to show her that she is more than that?" she explained to People.
Kendra is not alone in her struggles with depression and anxiety. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, more than 1 in 5 adults in the United States live with a mental health condition.
