Jane Seymour, 72, adamantly believes that "your sex life doesn’t need to end at 60." Though she acknowledges that physical abilities might change as you grow older, she doesn't think aging is a reason to give up on your sex life. In fact, her sex life is better than ever.
In an essay for Cosmopolitan, the actress wrote, "I truly feel sex and intimacy is better at my age than it ever was before. I actually mean that." After four marriages and several other relationships, she has discovered the power of focusing more on herself.
"My thinking is that life can only get better when you are open-minded and you listen to your body and to yourself," she wrote, also noting that stigma pushes some people to "give up" on pleasure, sex, and intimacy.
Because people don't talk much about menopause or sex as they age, "they give up. And they don’t just give up physically — they give up mentally and emotionally."
She now realizes that when she was in relationships in the past, she didn't prioritize herself. She admitted that she first realized this after going "through a sad divorce."
She admits that she spent much of her life in relationships, and she "always gave [her] power and the reins over to men in [her] life."
Once she embraced being single after the end of a relationship, something shifted.
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"When I became determined to be intentionally single and just live, breathe, and be surrounded by the things that were most important to me, I was the most whole I’d ever been," she wrote. "For the first time in my life, I wasn’t a man’s half."
Now, she is officially dating John Zambetti — and her sex life is better than ever. "Sex right now is more wonderful and passionate than anything I ever remember because it is built on trust, love, and experience," she wrote.
"I now know myself and my body, and John has had his own experiences in his life — it’s not like when you’re younger," she continued. "I suppose among younger generations, people have sex first and then say, 'Oh, by the way, hello. How do you do?' The older I get, the more sex is built on emotional intimacy, on having shared the ups and downs of life with someone — our feelings, our joys, our sadness, our mutual passions, and desire."
It also helps that at this age, she's not really worried about what other people think.
"I never imagined until now that I could be unashamedly who I am without having to worry about what somebody else thinks — especially at 72 when everyone’s got baggage and sometimes the joints are not performing or my back is flaring or something mildly arthritic happens," she wrote.
Another benefit of having sex at her age? No risk of getting pregnant.
Writing about how people don't have to give up on sex and intimacy as they age, she added that, "at the end of the day, everyone is looking for something that puts blood into a certain area. When you can figure that out, well, you’re going to be a happy camper."
Her relationship with John works for several reasons. When they first met, she explained, she wasn't really looking for a relationship and was perfectly content already. Because of this, John got to know her for who she truly is.
They have a true connection that goes beyond chemistry. "When people fit, they just fit," she wrote.
"And when there is love and intimacy as well as a desire to find pleasure for your partner and pleasure for yourself and you can make that all happen in unison, it’s magic," she continued. "Absolute magic, no matter what form it takes."
Another bonus? She finally didn't have to change herself or shrink or "disappear" in order "for sex and romance to click."
