Interracial relationships can sometimes require a bit of cultural learning and understanding that other types of relationships don't. This learning can extend to family members of both people in the relationship, and as one woman is finding out, once you're married and having children, that learning doesn't always stop.
The woman writes on Reddit that she recently snapped at her mother-in-law following a series of racist events and comments that she just can't handle anymore.
The woman and her husband have been married for six years.
"I 32 female (black) am married to my husband 34 male (white) we’ve been married for 6 years," the woman begins. "My MIL let’s call her Lisa has always made sly comments about me that I’ve tried to ignore over the years at one point she called my hair 'nappy' suggested I relax it which I shut down immediately."
The mother-in-law has made comments about the couple's kids.
The woman continues, "At one point she made a comment about an Asian cashiers eyes and justified it by saying 'my daughter-in-law is black, how can I be racist' when I was pregnant she kept mentioning how she wanted our daughter to have my husbands blue eyes when my daughter was born she had brown eyes, Lisa did not even try to hide her disappointment, my son was born with hazel eyes and his hair is also tighter than his sister’s she made a sly comment saying 'you can’t have the best of everything' insinuating that my daughter was blessed to have lighter skin and looser hair and my son was blessed to have 'pretty' eyes."
Her husband has defended his mom.
"I’ve bought my concerns up with my husband and he just brushed it over and told me that she’s 'a product of her time' a week ago my husband and I were holding a party to celebrate our 6 year anniversary and naturally Lisa was invited."
The mother-in-law made a harsh introduction.
"She asked if who could invite her friends and I agreed after all if would have been a bit boring for a 56 year old woman to engage in conversations with a bunch of 30 something year olds. Anyways when her friends showed up she introduced me as her 'Black daughter-in-law' which made me uncomfortable so I pulled her to the side and told her I didn’t want to be addressed as such she shrugged me off and said 'You’re my daughter in law and you're Black, you people are so sensitive.'"
The two really got into it.
"In that moment all the pent of anger I had towards her came flowing out I don’t remember exactly what i said but I remembered calling her a 'racist [expletive] she walked away from me and went into my kitchen and started to cry naturally everyone went to see what all the commotion was about, she told them I was an 'evil woman who was trying to ruin her relationship with her son and grandchildren and told them that I called her a racist [expletive]'."
Her husband completely took his mom's side.
"Everyone at the party became very hostile towards me and told me I went too far. That night my husband and I got into a huge fight and he told me I needed to apologize to his mother when I told him I would never apologize to her unless I received an apology he lashed out at me and went to stay at his mom’s house."
It's not a surprise that people are upset.
Commenters can't believe how far the mother-in-law and husband are going. As one person put it, "It’s bad enough she’s gone after his wife but the children. Those are his children too and he thinks it’s ok for his mother or make those comments about them."
Another person calls out the husband.
A second commenter wrote that the woman's husband needs to do more. As the person put it, "He is spineless and happy to watch you endure blatant racism while he excuses it with the ineffective 'she is a product of her time' trope. He absolutely needs to stand up for you."
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