Infertility is never easy to deal with. It is often not talked about in society, especially when the issue is being faced by two gay men. Bachelor alum Colton Underwood has decided to do something about this. He opened up to People magazine about his journey to eventual fatherhood with his husband Jordan C. Brown.
Both men knew they wanted to start a family together early on. They talked about it when they were dating. Colton started a podcast called Daddyhood to break down all the societal taboos. They are two years into their journey to parenthood.
Colton, 33, a former NFL player, was a contestant on The Bachelor in 2019. He came out as gay in 2021. Jordan and Colton were married in 2023.
Part of their initial attraction to each other was that they wanted to be parents. “It was one of the things that bonded us early on. We both wanted to be dads. I was very vocal on that,” Colton explained. “It's a traditional sort of part of my life that I really wanted to hold onto — I wanted to have a family.”
As the men worked toward fatherhood, they realized they didn’t know what they were doing at first. “And just figuring out next steps and stages was sort of a mystery to us until it wasn't,” Colton went on to say. “I realized early on, nobody talks about this. There's no resources, there's no books, there's no guide. You sort of get tossed into the fire.”
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Colton wasn’t sure at first if he should start the podcast because Jordan is so private. He ultimately decided to because he believes that by sharing their journey others can learn from it. Jordan also is onboard.
"I've gone back and forth on if I wanted to do this for quite some time now, just because it is so personal and Jordan is such a private person, and this is really inviting people back into our lives, which I'm excited about," he explained. "I like being somewhat of an open book."
Colton and Jordan have created and frozen embryos already. They are working with a surrogate whose identity will remain a secret. She is going through testing at the moment. While things are good now, Colton faced a speed bump in this process. His sperm count was basically nonexistent.
“Right away, my husband gets his results back for his sperm count and he had incredible, great numbers, and I got mine back and all my sperm was dead,” he explained. “And I think immediately I was just like, 'Oh, what does this mean? It means I'm sterile and can't have kids now.' And it was not a great feeling.”
This caused Colton to do some soul-searching. “I think outside of the LGBTQ+ matters — the obvious discrimination and what's at stake for us — straight couples too, need to stop putting the blame on the women,” he mused. “I think that's one thing that I could at least say, from two men going through this, is I've had some fertility issues and struggles, and I don't think a lot of men openly talk about that.”
"I think one of the reasons why men don't talk about it is it's sort of a blow to the ego,” Colton went on to say. “They're just like, 'Why me, I'm an alpha man? How can I not do the most simple task a man can do?' And I very much sort of had that approach going into it. I was like, 'I'm healthy. I work out every day. I've got this.' And then my doctor gave me my results back and I had four sperm and three of them weren't moving and one of them was not looking great either, so I quite literally had no sperm.”
Thankfully, Colton’s doctor was able to help him make lifestyle changes that got his sperm count back to normal. This meant no more hot baths or saunas. No working out more than five times a week and no biking. He also went off testosterone that he was prescribed because of his professional football career.
Colton is so thankful to Jordan for his support during this time. He did everything with Colton. “He did not have to do that with me,” Colton gushed. “He was so supportive and helpful. And over the course of three months I went and got retested and they were trending in the right direction and then [by] six months I got my numbers back up to where I could freeze my sperm.”
Colton and Jordan split the eggs equally from the donor. They have chosen to not know who the biological father is when they eventually have their child. They will just consider the future baby theirs. Colton hopes his podcast helps other people know they are not alone on the journey into parenthood.
