The weeks that follow the birth of a child can be an intense time, particularly for brand-new parents. No one gives you a manual for how to raise a child, so most of us are just making it up as we go along.
One thing that is important is that new parents still have opportunities to be adults outside of the parent-child relationship. Unfortunately, not everyone sees eye-to-eye on what that really means. One man recently took to Reddit to share that he and his mother think his wife is taking too much time for herself following the birth of their baby.
He says his wife was pretty isolated during her pregnancy.
"My wife and I had our first child around 2 months ago," the man begins. "She was home isolated during her entire pregnancy after the 6th month mark because of some pregnancy complications. We had also agreed that the first two months after birth our parents and siblings would be the only ones allowed to visit and see the baby and our friends and rest of the relatives could wait."
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But now that the baby is a few months old, she's ready to see friends again.
"As soon as the baby turned 2 months my wife started trying to get back into her social life again," the man continues. "Sometimes she'd bring the baby with her but sometimes she'd expect me to babysit. Whenever I couldn't babysit she'd call her mom to ask her if she could care for the baby for few hours. My wife's a great mom and she truly cares for our baby but it's frustrating how she feels the need to go out the entire time."
He refers to himself as the babysitter.
"One day while she was out shopping with a friend of hers,i was babysitting the kid and my mom visited me and asked where my wife was. I told her that she's out with a friend. My mom got very mad about how my wife went out and she told me I have no backbone for not calling her out and telling her to stay home with the baby. I told my mom I'll handle this."
His mom went all in on his wife.
"My mom waited until my wife got back home and she started scolding her," the man says. "It wasn't a proud moment for me and I really didn't want my mom to get involved but my wife needed to hear it from someone else too. My mom told my wife that she's irresponsible and that she should cut down her meetings with friends and stay home to care for the kid as a proper mother would."
They told her that her social life is over.
"My wife tried to defend herself saying how I was always out with my friends both during her pregnancy and after she gave birth but both I and my mom tried to explain how me going out is not the same as her going out. My mom told her that the little walks and coffee hangouts with her friends are over and that she better get used to the fact that her social life will now be limited. It sucks but that's how it is."
They aren't speaking now.
"I agreed with my mother on all that and my wife is not speaking to me for days," the man continues. "She even sleeps in the guest room now and took the baby's crib there as well. She will only cook for herself and the baby and not for me. My MIL and my SIL have texted me saying I was a huge AH for this and so was my mom so I should not be surprised my wife is acting like that towards me."
If he thought he would get sympathy, he was wrong.
The top comment pretty much sums it up: "Notice how you say taking care of your own kid is babysitting? You didn’t even mention the amount of time she goes out versus you but you just want us to trust you that it’s 'different' for you? You don’t even mention speaking to your wife before you mom said anything.
"Too bad your wife has two kids at home."
His mom shouldn't be in charge of what his wife does.
Another person wrote, "Your mom told her that going on walks and coffee hangouts with her friends are over? And your mom says you don’t have a backbone? Having a backbone is telling your mom to stay in her lane. She has NO authority over your wife."
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