Raising a tiny human is a big responsibility. Sometimes family members want to help, which is nice, but this opens up a whole new can of worms. They might have opinions on how to do things that the parents don’t agree with. This appears to be the case for one Reddit user.
This daughter-in-law had one simple safety rule when she left her baby with her mother-in-law. The mother-in-law completely ignored it. As a result, she is no longer allowed to have her grandson overnight. The daughter-in-law took to Reddit’s AITA forum to make sure she didn’t overreact.
We are talking about a newborn.
The daughter-in-law gives the forum some background information. “My husband (38m) and I (32f) had our first son four months ago,” she began. “Since he was born, my mother in law has been begging to keep him for an overnight stay to give us a break. I've been hesitant because he is really a very easy baby; we all get plenty of sleep and he makes being a mom easy. She babysits during the day on occasion.”
The new parents wanted a break.
The new parents decided it was time for a night out. “Well, we were invited out by friends and my husband wanted to see a movie tomorrow, so I agreed to let Son spend the night with MIL,” she continued. “I explained my expectations, the only major one being safe sleep protocol. I told her he must sleep on his back, no exceptions.”
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Sleep safety has evolved.
Grandma didn’t like the swaddle so the daughter-in-law was even flexible about that. She brought the sleep sack. She simply asked that the baby sleep on his back.
“I've caught her letting him nap on his tummy before, but she's always been directly supervising him, and being a new mom I didn't really want to start anything in those situations,” the mom explained. “But with a full overnight I was adamant, back sleep only, while she was also sleeping. She agreed to this.”
Maternal instinct kicked it.
This new mom had a gut feeling. “On our way home from our night out, I became uneasy and asked her to send me a picture of him, because I was having a hard time being away from him,” she explained. “She sent me a picture of him laying flat on his belly asleep in the bassinet. Then I think she remembered my rule, because it was followed up hastily with 'I have to turn him over, he keeps rolling.'"
Not on this mom's watch....
The mom wasn’t buying this excuse. “This, dear readers, was a lie,” she explained. “My son isn't rolling yet, we've been practicing daily but he still doesn't have the strength or muscle memory to do it by himself yet (he was a month premature, so some physical developmental milestones are still a little ways off). I turned to my husband and after a quick discussion, we turned around to drive the hour to pick him up at 2 in the morning.” This was a tense moment that didn’t go well.
The mom concluded her story by explaining she even double checked her son’s ability to roll over and would have been willing to apologize if she was wrong. She wonders if she went too far for not giving her mother-in-law another chance but she also wants to put her foot down here. Sleep safety is too important.
Reddit weighed in.
The AITA forum was on the daughter-in-law’s side.
One user summed up the situation: “You couldn't have made it any clearer. She's shown that she can't be trusted.”
Things change.
We know more about sleep safety these days. When you know better, you should do better.
“Asking her to put baby to sleep on his back isn’t something you’re just being picky about,” one user quipped. “It’s literally a fact that back sleeping is the safest for infants under the age of one. I would truthfully never trust her alone with him again and I hate to sound prude. Many people have survivors bias engrained in them 'we did it back then and nobody got hurt' mentality. That mindset is especially dangerous with a baby.”
This daughter-in-law can rest easy knowing the internet has her back. She is just looking for her son's well-being, which is a mom's No. 1 job. She's nailing it.
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