Ahh, summer: the season that many of us, children and adults alike, look forward to with great anticipation. In the US, summer typically ushers in warmer temperatures, pool parties, outdoor events, and maybe even a trip or two to the beach.
Summer can also usher in something else: waves of boredom that can feel so powerful to an angsty child that they feel impossible to combat. And while it might be tempting to try to solve your child's boredom by handing them a screen or coming up with an activity for them to complete, many experts agree that letting kids be bored is one of the best things you can do for them.
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I learned this firsthand recently when our Wi-Fi went out. We have been spending significant time in a developing country by the coast, and sometimes the Wi-Fi just … vanishes. It usually comes back on within 10 or 20 minutes, but on this particular night the outage lasted for hours.
At first, my 12-year-old was distraught. What on earth could he do without Crunchyroll and TikTok? The longer the minutes without internet dragged on, the more despondent he grew. My boyfriend and I watched him, half bemused and half entertained. His theatrics were something that belonged onstage.
All of a sudden, my kid asked for my tarot cards. He's a huge fan of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, and I had an inkling that the request was related to the show. It turns out I was right. I retrieved the cards, and he brought out some of his D&D die and created a simple game. We each drew a card, rolled our dice, and whoever rolled the highest number won. The game ended up being really fun, and we played several rounds before he decided he was ready to go to sleep.
Dr. Teresa Belton of the University of East Anglia believes that children these days are actually ill-equipped to handle boredom altogether. She chalks it up to a few factors, including technology use and the sheer volume of activities that are available for children today. She also believes parents have something to do with it.
"The increase in the number of families where both parents are working also plays a part," she explains, "as children are spending more time in childcare or other organised activities."
The team at the Child Mind Institute points out that while boredom is great in many ways, especially as it helps children develop "planning strategies, problem-solving skills, flexibility and organizational skills," experiencing boredom can be a drag on kids. As Stephanie Lee, the institute's director of the ADHD and Behavior Disorders Center, notes, "Boredom might not be super distressing. But it’s not fun. Life requires us to manage our frustrations and regulate our emotions when things aren’t going our way, and boredom is a great way to teach that skill."
See that, kids? You really do learn something from being bored!
In my own experience, what both experts say is true. My son definitely spends a lot of time in activities and on devices, because I do have a job, and sometimes it's easier to let him do that than to fight against it.
But small steps go a long way. This summer, I decided no screens could be on before 11 a.m. each day, which resulted in mornings that were calmer, more connected, and in general pretty chill.
For me, I think the words of Dr. Teresa Belton summarize it best. Letting kids be bored is important because, like the rest of us, kids need to know who they are.
"Children need time to themselves," Dr. Belton says, "to switch off from the bombardment of the outside world, to daydream, pursue their own thoughts and occupations, and discover personal interests and gifts."
