Sleepovers are one of the great joys of growing up. It's a rite of passage that presents kids with a freedom and an experience outside of their usual.
These events can be fun and filled with opportunities to make memories together. Before kids can get to the fun, however, parents need to do the work of making sure it's a safe environment. This could look different depending on the circumstances and your kiddo's age.
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Project Harmony — a community-based nonprofit based in Omaha, Nebraska, that works to investigate and resolve child abuse — shared some questions parents should ask themselves when considering letting their kid attend a sleepover.
When your kid asks you if they can go to a sleepover, tell them you'll think about it. Then, do just that. What does your gut tell you about your child staying over at this friend's home?
"If you have no initial reaction, it may be because you don't have enough information one way or the other about how safe your child will be in the other family's care," Project Harmony noted.
"'No feeling' is not an adequate response."
Ask yourself if your child is ready for a sleepover.
Whether they're a little kid, a tween, or a teen, you may have an idea of the things that would make you feel like they're ready for this experience. Maturity and having previous experience being separated from their parents are some factors you may want to consider.
Determine how comfortable you are with the family who is hosting the sleepover.
Parents want to feel comfortable with the home they're leaving their child at. How well do you know this family? Is there anything about their parenting that you've seen and are uncomfortable with?
Find out what kind of adult supervision you can expect.
Some parents are certainly more involved than others. Will kids be with parents at all times? It's important for younger kids, but as kids get older, you'll find them left more to their own devices. Then the question shifts more to whether there will be an adult home and who else might be around.
What's the house they'll be at like?
Consider other members of the household, including pets, and questions you might have related to them. Find out where the kids will be sleeping and if there's an open-door policy during sleepovers. Ask about what areas of the house/property kids will have access to. It's also an opportunity to find out whether there are firearms in the home and if they're stored safely.
Figure out how comfortable you are with the parents.
If asking some of the aforementioned questions feels uncomfortable, that may be an indication the arrangement isn't a good idea. You want to feel able to openly communicate with the parent and voice any concerns you may have.
Set your rules and expectations with your child.
Check in with your kid and tell them you want to chat with them as you consider this sleepover. Then use this opportunity to go over the kinds of rules and expectations you'll have in this situation. Making these details clear is important as kids get older and seek more independence. See how they engage and react, then gauge your comfortability.
Think about the ways you can make this safe and comfortable for the child.
"Does the home have a pool or guns in the house? Think creatively together about all the different scenarios when it comes to preparing your child for safety and comfort. The 'What if?' game is a good way to talk through possible scenarios and the appropriate responses," Project Harmony suggests.
"'What if you woke up in the middle of the night and got scared?' 'What if Danny (older brother) asked you to hang out in his room?' This is also a good time to consider sending a cell phone with your child — making it easier to call if they are ready to come home."
Plan some check-ins.
What kind of check-ins will make you and your child comfortable? It could be occasional texts throughout the night or a phone call at a set time.
Now that you've got all these tips at the ready, don't forget to tell your child to have a wonderful night!
