I Want To Donate My Wedding Flowers To Hospital Patients And Now My Mom Is Calling Me Selfish

A bride has taken to Reddit after being called “selfish” by her mother for choosing to donate her wedding flowers to a hospital rather than allowing her guests to take them home. The bride took to the social media platform to get other people’s opinions on the situation.

“Are guests entitled to taking home florals if they offer to help?” the post was titled. “Just wondering if I’m crazy here,” she began.

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As background, the Redditor clarifies that she and her fiancé are paying for their own wedding.

“I originally was offered a generous gift from my parents, but we turned it down when accepting it meant my mom would aggressively shoot down any idea she didn’t like,” she said. “Before the offer was returned, I had already promised my mom space to invite her own friends, so roughly 5% of my guest list is actually just my mom’s friends.”

The bride went on to explain that her mother enlisted the help of some of those friends to assist with transferring decor and setting up displays. “These friends have been asking me what they can do to help, so I’m happy we will have the manpower!” the daughter wrote. But that was before she knew her mom told the friends they could take home the centerpieces as a thank-you for their help.

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“I had to stop her to let her know that I have plans for my florals – that one of my friends works at a Children’s Hospital and they may accept them as a charitable contribution (tax deduction, but also such a cool idea),” the bride explained. “She blew up at me saying that the least I can do is let them have some of my flowers after they offered to help. Which is true.”

“But it’s the principle. I spent over $4k on this floral. I don’t like the idea of someone else promising my stuff to people who offered their help to me as a favor. At least ask me rather than tell me! I stood my ground, but I was called ungrateful and selfish in the process. I’m sure I’ll give in, but I just needed time to reign in a little control for just a moment.”

Bride with pink wedding dress holding her bouquet of flowers.
Getty Images

While Reddit users agreed that her mom’s approach was wrong, many gave some interesting perspectives.

“Let’s be honest, these flowers aren’t going to fly for a tax deduction,” one person commented. “Secondly, a lot of hospitals and nursing homes no longer accept floral donations. Third, yeah maybe she shouldn’t have overstepped and promised things but this isn’t a hill I would die on.”

Many users argued that children in the hospital couldn’t care less about donated flowers, and would rather have toys.

“I understand trying to get a deduction when you make a monetary donation but you really want to write off your wedding day flowers?” someone wondered. “It feels like you’re trying to find a loop hole around paying less for them by donating them and getting it written off. I’m gonna be one of the unpopular opinions on here but I think both you and your mom ATA.”

These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.