Charlize Theron had a very difficult upbringing that helped form her into the strong woman she is today. Charlize grew up with an alcoholic father, Charles Theron. His unpredictable antics often made her and her mother, Gerda, highly uncomfortable. It all came to a breaking point in June 1991. Charles was drunk and began trying to break down a door that Gerda and Charlize were hiding on the other side of. When he was unable to, he began shooting at the door.
Gerda had to make a difficult, brave decision to save herself and Charlize. She shot her husband, killing him. The incident was one that Charlize spoke little about until seeking help in her late 20s. Since coming into the spotlight, she has poignantly discussed the incident on a number of occasions. She hopes to provide comfort for those who have experienced family violence and stand in solidarity with them, all while drawing more awareness to the critical issue. In a 2019 NPR interview, the talented Bombshell actress discusses it in further detail.
Charlize Theron struggled growing up in a home with an alcoholic father. Her father's drinking made his behavior unpredictable and difficult for the whole family. It all came to a head on a June night in 1991.
Charlize recalled the tumultuous situation in an interview with NPR. "My father was a very sick man. My father was an alcoholic all my life. I only knew him one way, and that was as an alcoholic. … It was a pretty hopeless situation. Our family was just kind of stuck in it," she explained.
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Then she got into the details of that night. "My father was so drunk that he shouldn’t have been able to walk when he came into the house with a gun," Charlize said. "My mom and I were in my bedroom leaning against the door because he was trying to push through the door."
"So both of us were leaning against the door from the inside to have him not be able to push through. He took a step back and just shot through the door three times," she continued. "None of those bullets ever hit us, which is just a miracle. But in self-defense, she ended the threat."
Since Gerda shot her husband in self-defense, no charges were brought against her. The tragic incident taught Charlize a lot. "This family violence, this kind of violence that happens within the family, is something that I share with a lot of people," she noted.
"I'm not ashamed to talk about it, because I do think that the more we talk about these things, the more we realize we are not alone in any of it," Charlize noted. "I think, for me, it's just always been that this story really is about growing up with addicts and what that does to a person." Charlize only realized those impacts in adulthood.
During an interview with Howard Stern, Charlize explained how she initially dealt with it: "I just pretended like it didn’t happen. I didn’t tell anybody — I didn’t want to tell anybody. Whenever anybody asked me, I said my dad died in a car accident. Who wants to tell that story? Nobody wants to tell that story."
"They don’t know how to respond to that," Charlize continued. "And I didn’t want to feel like a victim. I struggled with that for many years until I actually started therapy." That's a step she didn't take until her late 20s/early 30s.
In therapy, Charlize learned that she wasn't traumatized by her father's death. It was the impact he had on the family in life that she struggled with. "I think what more affected me for my adult life that happened in my childhood was more the every day living of a child living in the house with an alcoholic and waking up not knowing what was going to happen," she noted.
"And not knowing how my day was going to go and all of it dependent on somebody else and whether he was not going to drink or drink," she continued. She also recognized that her mom's positive perspective was extremely helpful in how she dealt with the situation. It's clear she admires her mom greatly for it.
"I have an incredible mother. … She’s a huge inspiration in my life," Charlize said. "She’s never really had therapy. So a mother who never really had therapy dealing with something like that — trying to get your child out of that."
"Her philosophy was 'This is horrible. Acknowledge that this is horrible,'" she recalled. "'Now make a choice. Will this define you? Are you going to sink or are you going to swim?'" her mother would add. "That was it."
"I think both of us have dealt with that night really well," Charlize added. "I think both of us still have to deal with the life that we had — and that’s what people don’t really realize. It’s not just about what happened one night."
Charlize and her mother have both made the powerful choice to not let the events of their past define them. What they've experienced is difficult to move past, but they have done so. It's incredible that Charlize is so willing to speak out on it so that others know they are not alone.
